Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Happy Birthday Emma!

Our sweet, little goddaughter is turning ONE today! Jessica is having her a little party at 1pm so I'm taking off work early to go see them. I can't believe she's already one! It seems like it wasn't long ago that Jessica called to tell me she was late. I, of course, forced her to take a pregnancy test that minute! Who waits until they're 4 days late to take a test??? Jeez! She was out of town and had to buy a test from a drug store. Then she had to take it in a ladies room. Haha! Memories! I allowed her to call her husband first and then call me with the results... I'm so nice!

Technically speaking, I should be starting my period today. I'm cycle day 28. However, I'm 95% sure I ovulated late so I don't think I'm really due to start until 1/4/10. Then I'll go see Dr. H on Day 3 to start my IVF cycle! So exciting!

xxoo,
Jaime

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Lots to Share

I have been so busy with all of the running around that I haven't been able to post an update. Shame on me! Let's see... I last left you on Dec 23rd. I was getting ready for my Dad's family Christmas and my immediate family Christmas the next day. Tristan spent the night and was sweet and happy all day the 23rd and the 24th. That's the best Christmas present I got! Followed closely by my Wii and Wii Fit. :)
Here's a picture of us decorating a gingerbread house Wed night.


We woke up Thurs morning and I made the white chocolate bread pudding. I must toot my own horn and say that it was delish! Tristan was really excited to get to my family's Christmas because she knows she has tons of presents (my mom overdoes it!) The three of us and Lexi jumped in the car around 11am and stayed at my Uncle Jackie's house until about 4pm.

This is a picture of all of the kids at my Uncle Jackie's.


At around 4pm we headed over to my parents' house. We had such a good time. I got the Wii Fit, some Alabama T-shirts, a scale, and another Wii fitness game... I think they are trying tell me something... My parents surprised John with a 32" LCD HDTV! We thought about buying one as a joint gift to each other but we decided to wait until next year. He was so shocked he couldn't even speak. I wish I could haven gotten a picture.

This is a picture of my brother playing with the kids.


We took Tristan to her mom's house Thursday night and then finally headed home around 9pm. When we got home John gave Lexi a little bit of ham for dinner. That was a HUGE mistake! About 30 minutes later she started crying at the door. She had some tummy problems and we thought she was done. We were wrong! Every hour after that she would cry at the corner of the bed which means she had to go outside. Then one of the times John took her, he walked into the living room to get his phone and stepped in a big puddle of vomit... barefoot! EWWW! I came running when I heard him screaming and yelling. We cleaned that up and went back to bed. About an hour later (4am) Lexi crawled up to my face and was smacking her lips like she was eating something. I opened my eyes and saw her staring at me with those sad eyes and then she almost puked all over my face! Luckily I picked her up fast and got her in the bathroom. She finally stopped at around 5am so we got a little sleep. Tristan was calling about every 30 minutes for us to come over so she could open her presents. Poor thing! Lexi made a full recovery but we didn't take her to Tristan's or back to Tuscaloosa that afternoon. She needed her rest.

Tristan got a ton of stuff and loved it all. She's still not quite to the point where she wants clothes but she didn't complain about it as much as last year. In fact, one of her favorite presents was a shirt that John got her. Another of her favorite gifts was a key necklace with real diamonds that John went and picked out by himself at Kay's Jewelers. He wrote a sweet note and put it in the box. Here's a picture of her in the shirt and one of her with the necklace.



Today and yesterday were pretty laid back which is just we needed. We have to get back to work tomorrow.

xxoo

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Christmas Time

I love Christmas time. I feel like I haven't been able to fully enjoy it this year but I am determined to enjoy every second of the rest of this week!

My cyst must be gone now because I'm feeling a lot better. Now I'm just waiting for Mother Nature so we can get this show on the road. The problem is that I don't know when or if I ovulated. I have about a 13 day luteal phase (the time between ovulation and period) so if I didn't ovulate until a day or two ago then I still have a couple of weeks left. But if I ovulated around the time I was supposed to then I only have a few days left. I just have to be patient I suppose!

John took Tristan ice skating yesterday and I think they're going to see Alvin and the Chipmunks today. I think I finally finished up my Christmas shopping and I can't wait to sit back and relax today. Tomorrow we're going to Tuscaloosa for my Dad's family Christmas and then our immediate family Christmas. It's always fun so I'll make sure to post some pictures.

Hope you all have a Merry Christmas!

Monday, December 21, 2009

IVF

I went to see Dr. H to discuss IVF this morning. She agrees that it's time to move forward. I can't keep going through this torture with cysts! I believe one of them is rupturing today b/c I can't even stand up straight it hurts so badly. Hopefully it will go away soon!

She just gave me a timeline and told me exactly what would happen. I wait for my period and then go in on Day 3. I will get a lot of blood work done and they will check for cysts. If I have cysts I will have to take the BCPs until the cysts are gone. That could be anywhere from 2-4 weeks. After the BCPs I start the injections. They will monitor me closely and hope to get me around 10-15 follicles. Depending on egg quality and number she could freeze some for later. Then five days later they'll put 1 or 2 back in. Then 9 days after that I have a blood pregnancy test. So they whole shebang should take about 6-8 weeks depending on how long I have to be on the BCPs.

Hope you all are doing well!
Jaime

Friday, December 18, 2009

Happy Friday!

It's Friday! Wahoo! My job is supposed to be dwindling down over the month of December but it just keeps getting worse. I am so glad that it's Friday and I have the whole weekend off. Then I only come to work Monday and I'm off the rest of the week for Christmas. I can get through today and Monday! I can! New York is SUPPOSED to be mirroring everything we do right now and then taking over all operations as of Jan 1st. I don't know if it's going to happen though... they are really behind. However, if they are able to, we will close out December month end books which will take through mid January and we'll help with the audit some. From what I'm gathering, we'll be laid off no later than the end of January. At this point I welcome the lay off! The whole company has pretty much written us off so it's hard to come to work and care about what I do. But I am a professional and will continue to do my job to the best of my abilities.

I am going shopping tomorrow to try to finish up Christmas and then Heather is having a slumber party! FUN! We were instructed to wear Christmas PJs and bring a gift for dirty santa. I'm sure it'll be a blast!

xxoo,
Jaime

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Promised Pics

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RACH!!

Here's a picture of all of us at brunch. Em, Rach, Jess, me and LL (she just had another eye surgery...hence the glasses)


This is one where Em got the wreath stuck on her head. LL thinks this is hilarious!

We had a great time. We ate a lot and played dirty santa. We also played the Friends Scene It and Disney Scene It games. I love my girls.

John forgot the camera yesterday so he didn't get any pictures of Tristan's Chorus Concert. He said it was fun and she did great.

Fertility update: I don't know that I have ovulated yet. I keep having pains and twinges around my left ovary so I'm not sure if it's the cyst rupturing or ovulation. I'm day 15 today so hopefully I will hurry up and ovulate! The sooner I ovulate, the sooner I can start my next cycle... my IVF cycle!! YAY! John and I are meeting with Dr. H on Monday morning to discuss all things IVF. I'll let you know what goes down.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Migraine, Migraine Go Away

Of course once I get back into the spirit I get saddled with a migraine! I had to go home early yesterday and I felt terrible about it. My work is implementing a new pricing structure and last night was the first time to try it out. That means my back up had to stay here until 7:30 last night trying to get it to work! I brought her a little present today to try to make it up to her but I still feel bad. My head still hurts today but it's better that it was yesterday. Looks like I'll be the one working late tonight.

John took the camera today because Tristan has a choir performance tonight. I'll try to post pics tomorrow of that and my ladies' brunch.

xxoo,
Jaime

Monday, December 14, 2009

This Weekend

This past weekend has restored my Christmas cheer. After an emotionally draining weekend before and a horrific week at work all I wanted to do was crawl in bed and not come out. But the Christmas spirit started Thursday night with my Supper Club and then continued Friday night when I got to babysit Emma for a few hours. Saturday night John and I went to the Annual Patten Christmas Party which was very entertaining. We played Dirty Santa with 32 people so it was a lot of fun! The weekend was topped off with an explosion of cheer on Sunday with my brunch. Thanks to all of my girls for helping me get back into the spirit! I'll post pics tonights.

xxoo,
Jaime

Friday, December 11, 2009

Supper Club - Christmas Edition w/ pics

Last night's Supper Club was a success! The pastitsio I made was quite tasty and my decorations turned out great! I even had a few people ask for the recipe! AND - I actually got to use my Christmas china for the first time in 8 years! Jaime G brought hummus, Kelly brought Greek salad and bread, and Christie brought white chocolate bread pudding. mmmm... White Chocolate Bread Pudding... It was heaven!

Jaime G brought her 2 week old baby for his first outing. He's so cute! I took a picture of all of us surrounding him but I'll have to post it tonight.

Tonight John and I are babysitting Emma! I'm so excited! I'll post some pictures of her tonight too.

Happy Friday!
Jaime

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Busy Busy

I have so much to do this week! AAGGHHH! I'm hosting a party at my house tomorrow night and I'm hosting a brunch Sunday! It is good that they are close together b/c I can scrub the house one good time and hopefully it will stay clean! I have been running around trying to get decorations, clean the house and buy presents. Tonight I'm preparing the pastitsio so all I have to do is throw it in the oven tomorrow night when I get home. Carrie, my interior designer friend, is also coming over tonight to help me with the decorations. With all that has been going on, December is flying by! I can't believe it's already Dec 9th! I should definitely slow down and enjoy my favorite time of year!

Fertility news - My left side is starting to hurt so I guess I'll be ovulating in a few days on that side. BOOO! It was a longshot to hope that I would actually ovulate on the right side without some help but I was still hoping.

Finally, the Eberts Blog honored my blog with the Honest Scrap Award. I have to say 10 Honest Things about myself so here goes:

1. I love my husband!
2. I think I want a baby more than anybody in the world has ever wanted a baby. :)
3. One of my biggest fears has always been that I wouldn't be able to have children. Even at a very young age I was scared about it. I guess deep down I knew.
4. John and I both have great families.
5. I have the brain of an accountant but the heart of an artist.
6. I really don't even like accounting but I'm good at it.
7. As you can see from the two above statements, I'm questioning my decision to stay an accountant after I'm laid off next month.
8. I have a lot of great friends.
9. I'm impatient.
10. I have little, baby feelings... as John says :) He once asked me if my little, baby feelings would every grow up to at least toddler feelings. I'll let you know if that happens.

xxoo,
Jaime

Monday, December 7, 2009

Honestly - It gets cold here!

When our Canadian family came down to visit the weather was mild and pleasant so now they don't believe us when we say it gets cold here! Well this weekend was cold! Here are some pictures to prove it!

After a weekend filled with many emotions I am actually glad to be back at work and in my element. The highpoint of the weekend was Alabama beating Florida in the SEC Championship! Roll Tide! Now we will play Texas in the National Championship Game! I wish I could go out to California for the game! The rest of the weekend was tough. I can't really go into it because it's not directly related to me and I don't want to tell someone else's story but John and I could use an extra prayer or two if you have some sitting around. Praying for patience!

We finally did decide to make this a natural cycle and if I'm not pregnant we'll do IVF in January. I'm extremely nervous about this decision but I've prayed about it and I feel it's finally time. After 2 1/2 years it's time to pull out the big guns!

xxoo,

Jaime

Friday, December 4, 2009

OF COURSE!! - updated

I finally get really up for a cycle and 100% positive so what do you think happened at my appointment today? CYSTS! Two of them to be exact. A 2.75cm on the left and a 4cm on the right! I only had a tiny little follicle on the right at ovulation so how the heck did it grow to 4 cm? I'm so frustrated! I guess I shouldn't have gotten so excited about this cycle until I found out if I could actually do it.

The one bit of good news is that she found my vein on the first try. They're going to analyze my blood and call back this afternoon with my options.

update - Just got a call from the nurse. Of course my labs were PERFECT for IVF. However, if I start BCPs now I would start IVF at the end of Dec. She said she can't drag out the pills into January. We really wanted to wait to do IVF in January for tax reasons (I'm a tax nerd, I know!) SO... I can either do a natural cycle this month (pointless) or start BCPs and do another injectable cycle in January. That would push IVF until almost March though. So many decisions! All feedback will be much appreciated... should we take the pills and try one more injectable cycle or do a natural cycle and then IVF in January? AND to top it all off there are no guarantees that my labs will be good for IVF after this natural cycle. I am not equipped to make these decisions so I need some help from you guys!

xxoo,
Jaime

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Hopeful

Mother Nature showed bright and early this morning so I have my baseline appt scheduled for tomorrow. A nurse called yesterday and said Dr. H wants to retest my ACL (blood clotting) antibodies again. They were moderately positive when my rheumatologist checked them a couple of months ago but she said she wants them done at her lab so she can see a "true" reading. So I'm not looking forward to get blood taken tomorrow but I am super excited about this cycle.

I did not cry this morning or even get upset. My overall emotion was hopeful! I am excited to get this last cycle underway. You see, I never really let myself get up for a cycle. With every bit of good news I let myself go a little higher but I'm always very reserved with my hopefulness. The thought of letting myself go and putting all of my hopes on a cycle is scary. To let yourself get that high and then just come crashing down if it doesn't work is too much pain every month. However, since we're doing IVF next month I am putting all of my eggs in this month's basket. Even if it doesn't work I should be able to recover fairly quickly since I know I'll have the hope from IVF. So please join me in praying, hoping and wishing that this will be THE cycle! I'm going to be flying high this month with optimism and positiveness! I will not let doubts, worries or fear get in my path!

xxoo,
Jaime

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Oh My That's A Lovely Door

Isn't this a lovely door? John did such a great job staining it! He's also going to put up some pendant lights in the kitchen over the island. So my house is still not in order! We have dust, tools and junk everywhere! It has to be done soon though b/c I am hosting a dinner party Dec 10th! Hopefully our good friend Josh, who is an electrical engineer, will come over and help John get some lights up!




I tested this morning and it was negative so I stopped taking the progesterone. Hopefully Mother Nature will show soon so we can get this last cycle started! Please let this be the one so we don't have to do IVF!!


xxoo,
Jaime

Monday, November 30, 2009

Poor Tristan

She's always sick! She didn't come over yesterday to decorate the tree because she wasn't feeling well and now she's out of school today. The girl has allergies but won't take her medicine so she ends up getting sick a lot! Her ears hurt and she has a headache so it's probably a sinus infection. John's going to run by to see her tonight and make sure she's ok.

Only two days until I test! I know I ovulated on the wrong side, early and my lining was thin but I can still be hopeful right? Since I had the hcg shot, too my disdain, I can't test early. I would run the risk of a false positive and that would just be HORRIBLE! I can't imagine getting super excited and thinking you're pregnant but you're not. So I'm waiting the recommended amount of time. I am at peace this month even if it's negative because we have a plan. You know how I love a plan.

xxoo,
Jaime

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Pics from Thanksgiving

We had a great Thanksgiving weekend. Thursday we went down to my Aunt Pam's house with my Dad's family. Friday I did a little early morning shopping and then we both had to work until about 2. Then we watched the Alabama game which almost ruined our whole weekend! Thankfully the Tide pulled out a victory in the last few minutes of the game. Whew! Saturday John worked on the door and I babysat Emma for 3 whole hours! Jess usually comes back after about an hour but I told her that would be unacceptable this time! I wish I had taken my camera because she was so sweet and funny the whole time! She even took an hour and a half nap while I held and rocked her. ahhhh perfect day! I also made a big pot of chili since it's been chilly this weekend... yes Canadian family, it's been cold. Friday morning it was 1 degree celcius when I went shopping and that's cold in my book!! :o) Today I'm cleaning house and John's still working on the door. I'll post pictures when he's done because he's been working hard! He even slept in the floor of the living room last night with a golf club for protection because the stain was wet and he couldn't put the handle back on the door. That's dedication! We're also getting Tristan this afternoon. John's going to get her at around 3 so she can come over and help decorate the tree. It's one of my favorite traditions and I couldn't imagine doing it without her!

If you're wondering where I am in my cycle I am 9 dpo. That means I can test Wednesday and if it's negative stop taking the progesterone so Mother Nature should come calling Friday or Saturday. Then I can start my next and "last cycle" of injectables. I put last cycle in quotation marks because we've been saying last cycle for months! But I'm 90% sure this time if it doesn't work that we'll do IVF in January.

First is a picture of my Nana and her five children. Left to right, back then front is Johnny, Jerry (my dad), Jimmy, Jackie, my Nana, and Pam.


This is my Dad, my mom, Julie and me. My brother had already left so we couldn't make it of the whole fam.
This is me and my Nana

And finally this is one of the kids jumping on the trampoline. There's Katelyn, Austin, Marla and Brylan.

Somehow John managed to dodge all of the picture taking this year. I'll have to make sure I get him at Christmas!

xxoo,
Jaime

Friday, November 27, 2009

Roll Tide!!

If you haven't visited the great state of Alabama during Iron Bowl week you should...especially the day of Iron Bowl! I jumped up this morning at the crack of dawn to do a little shopping before heading into work. It just so happens that this year Iron Bowl falls on Black Friday so I didn't have to think of what to wear. It's ingrained into you from childhood that this day you will wear your team colors. I got to Target and tried to look at everyone from an outsider's perspective. The parking lot was full of cars with Alabama or Auburn flags! It was amazing to see almost every person wearing red or orange... mostly red :) I, of course, have on my Alabama long sleeve T-shirt. Strangers were passing each other with a nod and a "Roll Tide". It's wonderful to see this day bring so many people together even it is for a less than friendly goal... to beat the mess out of Auburn! The Auburn fans did the same for each other but I don't even speak they're cheer; much less type it. So if you're not from Alabama you'll just have to google that Barn school's cheer or you can say Roll Tide all day with me!

R-O-L-L-T-I-D-E!!!
Jaime

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving! Today I am thankful for my health! One of the girls who sits by me at work found out she had strep Tuesday. Yesterday my throat was a bit scratchy so I feared I would get it too. But today my throat is fine and I am fever free! Whew! Now I get to go see my family and play with some babies! Hope you all have a safe Thanksgiving Day with lots of love and great food!

xxoo,
Jaime

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Blessings

I have so many blessings in my life that they're hard to count. I have a wonderful husband, beautiful stepdaughter, sweet lil pup, supportive family, fabulous friends, nice house, a comfy bed to sleep in, food in my belly.... yes life is good! I am even thankful for the job I have for as long as I get to have it. They could have easily fired us all on the spot and hired temps at a cheaper rate. Instead they gave us almost a year notice and the promise of 4 months severance. I can't say I'm happy to lose my job in January but I am blessed for the way it is occurring. This Thanksgiving Holiday I am thankful for all of the above as well as the hope that one more blessing will happen soon... a sweet little angel of my own!

We're going to my Aunt Pam's house tomorrow for my Dad's annual family Thanksgiving dinner. There are about 30-35 of us who attend so it's usually an eventful day.

Your very blessed friend,
Jaime

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Better Days Ahead

Thanks for letting me be sad yesterday and for all of the love and support. The actual day she was due was Nov 18th, 2008. For days I was pushing down my emotions but they kept coming back. So I finally decided to give myself a day yesterday to just wallow in my heartache. I cried just about all day which is hard to do when you're sitting in a room with 8 other people. Luckily I sit with my back to them so no one knew. However, by last night I was giggling on the couch with my husband watching How I Met Your Mother. I just needed to let myself feel it so that I could move past it.

In the spirit of some other fabulous ladies I know who blog, I'm going to mention the gifts in my life I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving week. Today I am grateful for my compassionate husband and How I Met Your Mother... One of the funniest shows ever! Last night's episode was "Slapsgiving 2" which is a sequel to last year's "Slapsgiving". It was by far one of the funniest episodes and John and Tristan actually play slapsgiving now all year long. I can't tell you how thrilled I was that last night was a sequel to that episode. God works in mysterious ways! Only He would know a silly TV show could pull me out of my funk.

xxoo,
Jaime

Monday, November 23, 2009

Somber Day

I know I usually try to keep the mood light and funny for my posts but today I couldn't. Sorry for the sadness but it's my mood today. Tomorrow will be a better day!

A poem for my baby girl
There is not much happiness in my world today
I wish you were here to celebrate your 1st Birthday

You should be eating cake and making a mess
Instead I’m stuck here with this terrible sadness

You should be learning to walk while I hold your hand
You should be able to smile, speak and stand.


Every night I would rub my belly, talk to you and pray
That God would let me keep you just one more day


How selfish I was not to want to let you go
I still wish I could have had you in my arms to hold


Although I may be sad that you are not here
I know that God had a different path to steer


The three weeks we shared together were like no other
I can’t tell you how grateful I am you made me a mother


Though you were only with me a few short weeks of time
I loved you every minute, every second you were mine


xxoo,
Jaime

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Hormones

The past three months of follistim have not been too bad. I can say maybe I was a touch more emotional or sensitive but I didn't think I was especially moody... however, John may not agree :) But this month they upped my dosage a tiny bit and WHOA my hormones are raging! I am easily irritated, easily angered and cry at everything. I can't imagine how I will be if I have to do IVF. They really crank up the injections for that! Pray for John!

Here are some pictures from Tristan's Greek Day. John was so cute when I asked how it went. He bragged like such a proud dad.

xxoo,
Jaime

Friday, November 20, 2009

A Big Fat Thank You

I just want to give a Big Fat Thank You to Mom and Dad Z for coming down and tiling our floor. Every morning I wake up and walk downstairs it reminds me of them and how much we miss them already!

Tristan has her Greek Day presentation today. John is going this morning and taking pictures so I'll post them this weekend. She is dressed in her beautiful gown and jewelry, armed with pictures from her Uncle Chris's trip to Greece and Greek cookies her Yia Yia made. She most definitely will be the best presentation!

Update on my mom - It looks like her gallbladder is clear. She had some inflammation in her tummy so they think it may be acid reflux... maybe that's who I got it from!

Update on my soulcyster, Kathleen. This was her post this morning: Just got back from the NT scan. All clear! 1 in 7950 chance of Down Syndrome and 1 in 10,000 chance of Trisomy 13 or 18. That's very good!! The baby looked good, lots of wiggling around and moving his/her arms and legs. I'm so relieved. This is the stage when my last pregnancy ended, so now I'm about to embark on new territory.
What a miracle! I hope I get mine soon!

xxoo,
Jaime

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Don't you hate it when....

Don't you just hate it when you know more than the nurses?!? UGH! For my next career maybe I should be a nurse at a Fertility Specialist. I started having my usual ovulation symptoms yesterday but the problem is I was only on CD 8! AND of course I was hurting on the left side. So I called the nurse line and I gave her the spill about how they're supposed to catch me before I ovulate so they can stop it and the right side can catch up. She said... I quote "We can't control which side you ovulate on" in her nastiest tone. To which I replied, "Oh yes you can! You just have to catch my follicles between 1.2cm and 1.5cm which is really difficult." She said for me just to come in at my appt time today. I didn't feel like arguing and I figured if I was already having symptoms that I was close to maturity and it was too late. Guess who was right?? I had a 1.9cm this morning on the left as well as two 1.3's. I also had a lonely 1.2 on the right. She was flabbergasted! We're all so frustrated! Why is my body ovulating so early this month? Last month it was Day 16! I'm a whole 8 days early! GRR! Then she said the magic words "Can we try one more cycle?" She said it seems every month we say one more cycle but what she really means is one more cycle on the right side. Since I'm so early we will be able to squeeze in one more cycle before January. January is when we want to do IVF because of John's flex plan. So... one more cycle it is!

It's going to be close with the insurance though. We were told yesterday that we are pretty sure to have a job until Dec 31st. After that they will start laying people off. They want the whole deal done by Jan 31st now! SO - If I get laid off in Jan my insurance will only go through Jan 31st. Uh oh! I won't start IVF until probably the second week in January which means it will be done in February. I'll be switching insurances in the middle of the cycle and I'm not sure if John's insurance covers any of the monitoring. Decisions. Decisions.

I hope this Thursday is working out better for you than it is for me!

xxoo,
Jaime

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Pictures!

Rachel - This post is for you!! Pictures only.

1. Our new floor! Isn't it lovely!
2. John working hard3. Papou, Tristan and Yia Yia standing on the new floor.

4. The old floor
5. The outfit Yia Yia made for Tristan's Greek Day at school on Friday!


6. Walking Lexi


7. Emma and me on Halloween.

xxoo,
Jaime

Monday, November 16, 2009

Time Flies

These past nine days have flown by! We have to say goodbye to Mom and Dad Z tomorrow morning. Their flight leaves out at 8 am. We have thoroughly enjoyed their visit and hope they will come back soon!

The floor is done and looks great! I took some pictures of it last night and will try to post either tonight or tomorrow. It's amazing how it completed the kitchen!

I'm thinking of my mom today as she is having some tests for her upset tummy. You may remember she was hospitalized not too long ago for it. They never really found out what was wrong so today they're doing an ultrasound on her gallbladder and then putting her under and running a tube down into her stomach.
She and my Dad came by for a little while yesterday. It was nice to see the families get together. They're completely different but somehow it works!

Fertility news - I started injections Friday and will have an appt Thurs to see what's happening in there! Hopefully something on the right!!

xxoo,
Jaime

Friday, November 13, 2009

Happy Friday the 13th

Don't break any mirrors, walk under ladders or cross a black cat's path today!

Supper Club was great last night but I got a migraine while I was there and had to go home. I hate that I didn't get to enjoy the company and great food!

The floor is looking GREAT! I can't wait to post a pic!

This weekend I think we're just going to hang out and enjoy the beautiful weather. Mom and Dad are driving back from NC on Saturday and will hopefully be able to stop by for a bit. I'm taking off a little early today so we should have a good, long weekend.

ROLL TIDE!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Knock Knock

Guess who arrived at my house bright and early yesterday morning... Mother Nature. I had my baseline appt this morning. I only have one small cyst left over so as long as my blood work is ok I'll be starting one last round of injectables tomorrow. I should get the results this afternoon and will update you then.

Everything else is going great! The tiles are down and I think they're laying the grout today. Yay! I can't wait to have my kitchen back. My fridge is in the dining room!!

John's parents have taken quite a liking to Little Miss Lexi. I thought she may get on their nerves during the day but Mom Z has been taking her for walks so I think she's been pretty content. I know she's going to miss them so much when they leave!

I have the 3rd month of Supper Club tonight so I'm planning to go by for a little while. It's at Heather's this month and she's planning a full Thanksgiving meal! YUM!

Update - They finally called with my results. E2 was 56 and FSH was 13. FSH is a little high but my E2 is so good that it makes up for it a bit. So I start injections tomorrow. She upped my dose to 100iu because I only have three sad little antral follicles on the right but 8 antrals on the left. So I have to get a little more meds to get the right side going. Here's hoping Round 4 of injectables will finally be the month!

xxoo,
Jaime

Monday, November 9, 2009

I almost forgot...

I got my blood results back on Friday from three weeks ago with my rheumatologist. He has downgraded me to "probable lupus" rather than a full blown diagnosis of Lupus! My body is healing itself!! Woop! Woop!

That was the good news however I still have a "moderately positive" for my anticardiolipin count (blood clotting issue). Even with the baby aspirin I'm taking every day. I think this means I'll definitely have to see a hematoligist now. Booo. I'm pretty sure it just means I'll have to take Lovenox injections (blood thinner) every day I'm pregnant until I give birth! That's A LOT of injections! But the downgrade of my Lupus diagnosis outweighs this little bit of bad news by a ton! I know my family and friends have been praying about my lupus for years and now it seems that God may be healing me. Maybe He wanted to work on that miracle before He could start working on my baby miracle.

Happy Monday!

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Good Times

This weekend has been really nice. John's parents got here Saturday afternoon and if you haven't heard.... Alabama beat LSU!!! Roll Tide!!

I was surprised with some sweet bread and cookies when they got here! Yum! Mom Z knows I love my sweets! They also brought us a bottle of Grey Goose from the Duty Free... always a great gift. Tonight we had pork tenderloin, veggies and potatoes followed by cookies. I can tell I will be 5 lbs heavier by the time they leave. Right now Tristan and her Yia Yia are snuggling on the couch and John and his Dad are working on the kitchen floor. Hopefully they'll be done by the weekend.

I took a test today in case I beat the 1% odds but of course it was negative. I know I only ovulated on the left side and my lining was too thin but I had to check just in case. Relaxing didn't make a baby this month but it was nice not to be hopped up on hormones all month. I should start injections again sometime next week as long as my cysts are gone. Two more girls from my soulcysters got pregnant this month so hopefully I'll be close behind!

xxoo,
Jaime

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Demolition

Last night John started tearing out the kitchen floor! YIKES! It's a total mess right now and I'm sure will only get worse! BUT - we should have a new kitchen floor by the time Mom and Dad Z leave. I'll post pics when it's done! While that was going on I hung some artwork over the bed in the guest bedroom. I was quite challenged with what I should do to this room. It's purple! Light purple on top and a darker purple at the bottom to be exact. Our house consists of warm colors... browns, reds, gold. But I obviously can't decorate this room in those colors. We don't want to paint the room because it will be the baby's room at some point. We'll want to paint it depending on the gender of the child we conceive. So we don't want to paint it now and paint it again. For now it will remain purple...

2 days until they arrive!!

xxoo,
Jaime

Monday, November 2, 2009

Doctors, Doctors and more Doctors

John and I had an appt this morning to talk with Dr. Honea about IVF. We decided to try one more month of injectables and then go for IVF in December/January. Yikes! It's official! She did an ultrasound while I was there because my left side is still hurting. I have two cysts at 2.5cm and 2.3cm respectively. Hence the pain. There was nothing on the right so that means when I ovulated a few days ago it was definitely on the left. Boo! So much for my rest cycle miracle baby! I also had a lot of fluid around the left ovary again which means that at least one of the cyst has ruptured. Hopefully when I go back for my baseline in two weeks I will be cyst free and we can try one more medicated cycle. But if the cysts are still there I will have to take birth control pills to get rid of them. :(

While we were talking with Dr. Honea she asked me what my hematologist thinks of my blood clotting issue. I told her that I've never seen a hematologist so she gave me a doctor and said that I definitely need to go see him. Then she asked me about my migraines. She asked what my last MRI showed and I told her that I didn't get one b/c every time I tell a doctor I'm TTC they say to come back after I've had the baby. SO - she gave me the name to another doctor and told me to go see him and tell him that I'm taking a break so he'll do the scan. Then she gave me the name to an ENT who gives her a mouth rinse for ulcers and said that I should go see him to get this prescription. THEN - she said she wanted me to go see the high risk OB before I actually get pregnant and gave me a few names. REALLY! FOUR new doctors!!! Are you kidding me?!? Who has time for all of that? I'm exhausted just thinking about it!

Brighter note: Only 5 days until Mom and Dad Z arrive! YAY!

xxoo,
Jaime

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy Halloween!

Hope you have all treats and no tricks!
This week has been really busy. I had to work late several nights, then had a party Thursday night and last night. I was so glad today I could just sit on the couch for a bit and watch some football. Poor John had to leave at 5 this morning to go fundraise for Tristan at Talladega. AND - we didn't get home until 2 this morning from our party. He's such a GREAT dad!

Here's a picture of Lexi in her Boo shirt, of John and Tristan carving the pumpkin and their masterpiece. I told you they did a good job! Don't you like that Lexi had to be right there helping them? It was a Daddy/Daughter event after all!


xxoo,
Jaime





Wednesday, October 28, 2009

What No One Told You

Last night Tristan and John carved their annual pumpkin. This year they carved a bat. I'll try to post pictures later this week. It's pretty good! John even let Tristan do some of the cutting this year. She's getting so old!

I found this online and it is quite fitting. Pretty funny stuff.
What Nobody Told You About Trying to Conceive...
That unprotected sex doesn't necessarily lead to pregnancy.
That your sex life would start to resemble a science experiment.
That the longer you TTC, the more PG women spring up around you.
That you would know more about the female reproductive system and menstrual cycle than most of the doctors.
That living your life in 2 week increments would be the norm.
That simply relaxing will NOT get you pregnant.
That you have no control over some of the goals you set...
That wishing really hard for something doesn't make it happen.
That a pregnancy doesn't always equal a baby.
That you wasted ALOT of money on Birth control pills!!
That you would be willing to stick a little blue pill in your hoo-haa.
That you would be willing to stab yourself in the stomach with a needle every day.
That it is insensitive to ask people when they are having a baby!
That medicine and procedures are not a sure fire way to get pregnant but it is a sure fire way to lose money fast.
That infertility is more common than you think.
That there is nothing to aid conception in the water at work, despite what some may say.
That foreplay would consist of your husband asking "How's your cervix today"
That an HSG will tell you more than just whether or not your tubes are blocked. I had no idea your uterus could be misshaped.
That one person could be "cursed" with so many different fertility problems.
That your husband would be overly concerned that your BD positions were the most effective ones!
That you would become addicted to peeing on a stick!
That you would learn to speak in code:“I checked Cm which was EWCM but when I will POAS who knows, dh won't let me for fear of BFN
That you would meet such a wonderful group of people that you can share your sorrow, frustration and fears with and not even know their last names.
That the two little words "just relax" uttered by everyone you know would infuriate you beyond belief.
That you wouldn't know how important a baby was to you until it took so long and you realized what you were willing to do.


I especially like the last one. I know what I am willing to do to have a baby... I'll move mountains if I have to!

xxoo,
Jaime

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Santa

If you still believe in Santa then read no further!! This weekend Tristan asked John about Santa. She said some of her friends were telling her that he's not real. He tried to dance around the subject a little but she kept asking. He figured it was time she knew so he gently broke the news that Santa isn't real. She seemed ok but a little sad. She asked about her elves that come to life and create mischief. He explained that he would make the elves do that stuff while she was sleeping (they toilet papered the living room, hid presents, drug dirty laundry all over the house and lots more). Then she said, "Hey! You made me clean that stuff up!" haha. So I think she's going to be ok. Then Saturday morning she woke up and we were having a little pillow talk. She got a sad look on her face, sat up and said, "Does that mean the tooth fairy isn't real???" Poor thing! Her magic is gone. But it was time. Most kids don't get to keep the magic as long as she did. I think I was in 3rd or 4th grade when I stopped believing. Last night she called him and asked about every fairy tale. He had to tell her they were all just make believe and that there is no such thing as fairies, pixies, witches or whatever else she asked about. She's not a little girl anymore. She's now a young lady.

John is going to get her for a little while tonight to carve a pumpkin since he didn't really have her Sunday. Every year they carve a pumpkin together so I'm glad they could work in some time to keep the tradition.

xxoo,
Jaime

Monday, October 26, 2009

Nail Biter

Friday afternoon I went to see my rheumatologist. The appt went well and he said that the carpal tunnel is not from the Lupus but from the repetitive motion from my job. He said he didn't have to do a nerve study; that I definitely have it. He said my only options are to wear a brace everyday at work or surgery. I'm not thrilled about having ANOTHER surgery so I'm just going to be "that girl" who wears a brace at work! I then went down to the lab where the lady wanted not one, not two, not even three, but SEVEN vials of blood! I told her my usual speech of hard stick and moving veins. She seemed quite confident in herself and said she was "trained to deal with that." Two sticks and five minutes of digging later she had to call over another nurse to help her. Not only did she miss my only good vein but then she blew the vein in my hand. I told her that there was no way she would ever get 7 vials out of my hand but she wouldn't listen. The second lady came over and actually said a prayer over my arm for the Lord to help her! I said a prayer too! He must have been listening because she got me first stick! Good thing I don't have to go back there for another year!
On a brighter note Friday night we found out when Mom and Dad Z would be coming down to see us! They're coming Nov 7th - Nov 17th! YAY! We're so excited! Now all I need to do is scrub my entire house ceiling to floor! Any volunteers to help? haha

Saturday I went to the Alabama vs Tennessee game with Rachel. It was a nail biter! With 4 seconds left in the game we were winning 12-10 but Tennessee was in field goal territory. Here's the scenario... If they make the field goal we will lose 12-13. OMG! Imagine 90,000 people screaming as loud as they can! We take a time out to ice the kicker. The anticipation is killing us! More screaming. The kicker sets up, ball is placed, he kicks, ball is up..... it's blocked!!! It's blocked!!! Somehow 350 lb. "Mount" Cody broke through the line, flung himself in the air and blocked the kick! We win!

While all of that was happening... Tristan and John were at softball. Tristan's team won the first two games easily but then lost the third. Sunday they had another game and fell to the same team. Tristan wanted to stay and watch the rest of the tournament with her friends so John and I went home. Actually... I went to meet my friend Gloria (a.k.a. G-slo) and her boyfriend, Matt, for lunch who were in town this weekend from Houston, TX. It was so good seeing them! Maybe there will be wedding bells so I can see them again soon!

xxoo,
Jaime

Friday, October 23, 2009

Simply Heaven

graham cracker + peanut butter + nutella + marshmallow + microwave 10 sec = Heaven!
I have often wondered what Heaven will be like. Now I know it will have to include these!

I called yesterday to make an appt with my rheumatologist. It usually takes several months to get in with him but he had a cancellation for today at 2pm so I took it. I'm supposed to see him every 6 months to assess the Lupus but I haven't seen him in well over a year now. I think I'm going to be in trouble. But it's so hard to make appts with other doctors when I have to make so many for infertility! Also, I'm a very healthy sick person... at least that's what he says. I'm the healthiest sick person he's ever seen. So it's hard to make appts for things that aren't even bothering me. I know they need to monitor me from time to time so I'm going... I'm going!

John talked to his parents this week and we're trying to get them to come down here in Nov or Dec! YAY! Canadian followers - Please urge them to come and see us! We miss them!

We get Tristan this weekend! She has a tournament on Saturday and Sunday so it looks like most of the weekend will be at the ball field. However, tomorrow I'm going to the Alabama game. My fabulous friend, Rachel, has an extra ticket so I'll be cheering on the Tide for a victory over Tennessee! Then I'll cheer on Tristan and the Vipers on Sunday! Sounds like I'm going to do a lot of cheering this weekend! :)

xxoo,
Jaime

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Struggling Artist

Jessica and I went to a local art store where the owner teaches a class to paint a particular piece of artwork. Last night the picture was an abstract cross. My type A personality really has a hard time with painting lines but I tried to let go of that and paint as the lady told me. Below is the end result. I'm not 100% pleased but it's ok. We went with Jessica's church group and had a great time!



Please keep Jessica's daughter (my lovely goddaughter) Emma in your prayers. She had tubes put in her ears this morning which I know is quite routine but it's always nerve wracking when it's your little sweetheart! Jess said that she's done and seems to be doing well.

I finally went to the doctor this morning about my wrist. Since I have to go to appts so often for my fertility issues I have been letting all of the other doctor's visits slip. I still need a crown because I cracked my tooth, I haven't been to my rheumatologist in over a year and I needed to see a doctor about my possible carpal tunnel. Check the carpal tunnel doc off the list! Canadian followers - Employers here take out worker's compensation insurance for employees who are hurt on the job. I'm not sure if Canada does this since you get free healthcare. I've never used w/c before but my office wanted me to use it instead of using my health insurance. So I went to the company appointed doctor this morning. It was weird! The bottom line is that I need a nerve study. Since my work wanted me to do it through W/C there are all of these conditions that have to be met. He also thinks the carpal tunnel could be due to the lupus and not work related. I told him that I didn't care if it was work related or if I needed to go through my insurance or whatever! Just give me some exercises or stretches to make it better! He said he would have to call my work and see what they think and that I need to see my rheumatologist for a second opinion and blah, blah, blah. Ridiculous! I didn't realize this was going to be so difficult. Not to mention that my skeeze-o-meter was off the chart! The doctor was a super close talker and just gave off this weird vibe. Also, he said I seem like a very nice "woman" and that he hopes he will be able to work with me. Those words may not sound bad but it was the way he said them. The emphasis was on the word "woman" which most southerners wouldn't say. They would say lady. And he was all up in my face and talking in a trying-to-be seductive tone with his hand on my knee. eeeewwww! My skeeze-o-meter is almost always right.

xxoo,
Jaime

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Ode to Lexi

Recently I realized that I have developed an attachment to Lexi that is not unlike a mother to a child. I find myself wondering about her during the day… what’s she doing? Is she lonely? Is she sitting at the window? I find myself worrying about her eating, peeing and pooping habits… did she eat enough? Did she go potty this morning? is she drinking enough water? I find myself watching her sleep on the couch late in the evening before I head to bed wondering… is she dreaming little doggie dreams? Is she chasing a cat or eating a treat? Then I’ll panic because I can’t see her stomach moving anymore so I check to make sure that she’s breathing. Ahhh yes! All of the worries of being a parent. I never had a dog growing up so I wonder if this is how all people feel about their pets. Or am I just projecting the love I so desperately want to give a child onto Lexi? It’s not only me though. John does it too! He lies on the floor with her at night kissing and petting her; telling her she's a pretty girl. He sometimes acts as if his feelings may be hurt because she sleeps snuggled up next to me at night. Last night when he got in bed he actually moved her to his side! He goes home every day at lunch to see her and then calls me with a progress report of what happened even though he knows she would be fine staying there all day. Maybe we don't need a baby because if we're this crazy with the dog then how are we going to be with a sweet, little baby? Haha!

Here's a picture of our little Lexi from this weekend. She came running out of the woods with this HUGE stick. She was so proud of herself wanting John to toss it for her. Isn't she the cutest!!

xxoo,
Jaime

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Homecoming -updated w/ pics

Happy Birthday Kristine!! Hope you had a wonderful weekend!

A couple of important things happened this weekend. First, on Friday night John met Ben, Tristan's boyfriend. Tristan went to the Hoover vs Vestavia game with a lot of her friends and John decided to go with a friend of his while I was at dinner with the girls. When Tristan saw him there he said she made the "OMG why is my dad here" face. She was sitting beside Ben so John walked up to talk to them. John said that Ben stood up and shook his hand and seemed really, really nervous. What a milestone... John met the first of most likely many, many boyfriends to come.

Saturday the Alabama Crimson Tide welcomed the #22 ranked University of South Carolina for Homecoming. My fabulous friend Rachel gave us tickets to the game. We were a little nervous that we would freeze during the game so we made sure to layer well. John only had on a pair of jeans so I suggested he put on some thermals. He said he didn't have any so I found a pair of stretchy tights that he wore. If only I could have snuck a quick picture... let's just say it's a good thing we're not trying to make a baby this month. Those were some skin tight pants! When we got to our seats we were pleasantly surprised that the wind was blocked in our area so it turned out to be a pretty nice game!

Before the game. I have on 4 layers of clothes!

The band getting us fired up for the game!

Saban and the boys heading toward the field!

During the game when it was a little colder!

Final score: Alabama 20 South Carolina 6

Today was a little less eventful. I made a big pot of soup and cleaned while John had a soccer game. After that we went to a movie.

Roll Tide!
Jaime

Friday, October 16, 2009

Supper Club - October Edition

Our monthly Supper Club dinner was last night and my was it delicious!! This month it was at Christie's house and she prepared chicken enchiladas. The other Jaime (yes she does spell her name the same as mine) brought a mexican style salad and I made jalapeno poppers and s'mores for desert. It was a YUMMY night. Christie also made Sangria's that were tasty! It was a fun night with some fun girls... just what I needed. Here's a picture of 6 of the 8 of us. Two girls wouldn't get in the picture. No fun! Back row left to right: Christie, Kellie, Jaime, Carrie. Front row: Stacey and Me.



Since I will be unable to talk about fertility related news for the next few weeks you'll have to settle for updates on our day to day activities. John and I are sometimes quite boring so I may not write every day but I'll fill you in with some highlights. As promised in a previous post, the below is a picture of the artwork I made. It's just two small canvases covered in scrapbook paper on each side of the china cabinet. I didn't get the gold pen yet to trace the outlines of the designs so try to imagine that in the finished product.



Please keep my Great Aunt Ann in your prayers. She had an 80% blockage in her heart but is on the road to recovery now.

Finally, John and I are going to the Alabama Homecoming game Saturday night. Exciting! I'll post some pictures this weekend! Roll Tide!

xxoo,
Jaime

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Au Naturale

In many areas of my life I like to be au naturale. I like wearing little makeup and comfy clothes. I'm a pretty plain Jane eater; I'm fine eating a sandwich at home. I don't need a lot of frills and fanciness. So why does it seem so disheartening to do a natural cycle? That's right folks... I had 4 cysts. (1) 3.5 cm and (3) 1.0 cm cysts. My options were to take birth control pills for 2-3 weeks to make the cysts go away and then try another injectable cycle or to do a natural cycle this month and hope they go away on their own. The thought of taking birth control pills makes me want to vomit so we're going au naturale this month! John and I have an appt with Dr. Honea on Nov 2nd to discuss whether I was approved for IVF. If so we'll decide then whether I'll do one more injectable cycle or just go straight to the Big Dog - IVF. EEK! It's hard to believe that our TTC (trying to conceive) journey is coming to an end. I see the light at the end of the tunnel. One way or another we should have an answer to the baby question within a few short months. Either IVF will work and we'll have an angel on the way or my eggs will be bad and it's over.

There is always a bright side and this one is that I don't have to take shots this month! No pills, no shots, no little green tablets that have to go in unmentionable places, no doctor's appts, no blood work... just me and the hubs trying the old fashioned way. WEIRD!

Also worth mentioning... I had a backbone today! Casey, the NP I had today, was desperately trying to take my blood. This was our conversation: Casey: "We should probably get some blood today to..." Me: interrupting "ummmm. I don't think so." Casey: "But with your history it would be better if we..." Me: "ummm. no:" Casey: "But I really think..." Me: "What will it determine if you take blood today? IF the blood work is good would I be able to do injectables?" Casey: "No" Me: "If the blood work is bad would you do anything differently than what we're doing now?" Casey: "no" Me: "Then why should I be subjected to torture and risk having bad blood work that could eliminate me from the IVF program?" Casey: "Fine. No blood work" YAY ME! No blood work!

xxoo,

Jaime

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Sweet Potato Fries

If you guys haven't tried sweet potato fries yet then I strongly suggest you do it soon! My wonderful husband made me some last night. You just cut up a sweet potato, drizzle with olive oil, sprinkle with seasoning salt and pepper, and bake in the oven for 30min at 425. (turn every 10 min) YUM!

Update on my friend Kathleen - She had her second u/s today at 7 weeks and everything looks great. That is one perk of being fertility challenged. Once you do finally get pregnant you get an u/s once a week until you're 12 weeks and released to the OB. Very nice! I can't imagine being you normal people who have to wait until 10 or 11 weeks to get the first one and only get one or two the ENTIRE pregnancy!

I finally broke down this morning and am taking another antibiotic. I still have a headache which I thought may have been from my hormones but now I believe may be my sinuses. Also, I'm still coughing up some yucky looking stuff. Hopefully this second round will finally do the trick! I have my baseline appt tomorrow morning so I'll let you know how it goes.

xxoo,
Jaime

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Decisions Decisions

When I got home last night Tristan was still at the house. She and John were lying on the floor together watching some TV... they're so cute! I asked her if she had fun and a big smile crossed her face when she said YEAH! They went bowling and then out to eat for some wings.

My head has been hurting for the past two days and I can't seem to shake it. I guess it's due to my hormones since I stopped taking the progesterone. Mother Nature did come knocking this morning so I made my baseline appointment for Thursday to see if I have cysts. I'm thinking one more injectable cycle, a natural (break) cycle and then IVF. Or if I have cysts then a natural cycle this time, injectable cycle then IVF. I'm going to talk with NP Thursday about all of my options. IVF just seems so final. That's the last step... the Hail Mary pass. If we try IVF and she says my eggs are bad then it's over. There's nothing else to try.

Alabama Football update - We leapfrogged Texas in the polls which makes us #2 in the nation after our 22-3 victory over Ole Miss Saturday! Woop! Woop! How familiar it is for Florida and Alabama to be ranking #1 and #2! Hopefully this year will have a better outcome! This Saturday is Homecoming where we welcome a very good South Carolina team. RTR!

xxoo,
Jaime

Monday, October 12, 2009

He Caved

John will try to tell you that he didn't cave but he did! I woke up yesterday morning and all symptoms of pregnancy were gone. All of the signs I had gotten a few days earlier had disappeared! So I sadly told John and he responded "Well take a test." He says that since he didn't actually give me the test that he didn't cave. But he gave me the green light so I went up to his bathroom and found the tests in a drawer... great hiding spot! I did take the test and it of course was negative. BOO! I went to my blood test this morning because I'm on progesterone to keep me from getting my period and I can't stop taking it until I get a negative blood test. Those results should be in around noon so I'll be able to stop the meds and should start a new cycle tomorrow or Wednesday. I'm not sure what I want to do. Maybe one more injectable cycle and if it doesn't work then take a month break and do IVF in January. Or we could go straight to IVF. I just hate that we're going to have to pay so much money to HOPEFULLY be able to achieve something that most women can do for free. It's so frustrating!

Tristan left yesterday at 3 to go see her Nana but John is supposed to get her back at around noon. It's Columbus Day so she's out of school and he's off work. I am not so lucky! He's planning to take her bowling and out to eat as her reward for all A's. She's still on the not eating anything I make kick so I didn't make the fondue. She also doesn't like to shop so I couldn't buy her a new outfit which was my backup plan. Maybe in another year or so she'll grow into the shopping.
Yesterday we were watching America's Next Top Model and Tristan started trying to do a runway walk. It was really funny. So I got up and tried to teach her how to swing those hips and even John get in on the action. I took some video of them strutting their stuff but John said he would beat me if I posted it. Maybe I can sneak it on later.... so funny!

Hope everyone is doing well! Happy Thanksgiving to my Canadian family!

xxoo,
Jaime

Friday, October 9, 2009

Smarty McSmartPants

Tristan's final grades are in and she has all A's. We are so proud of her! She has worked really hard so far this year and it shows! I'm not sure what John has planned for her reward but I'm sure it will be GREAT! As of right now her tournament for tomorrow is still on so we'll do something special tonight or Sunday. Any suggestions? As my little reward for her I was thinking of making chocolate fondue. I've done this once before and she LOVED it. However, she is currently on a kick where she won't eat anything I make so that may not work. Hopefully she'll realize I'm not trying to poison her or feed her terrible food some time soon!

BTW - John has stayed strong. I normally would have started testing this morning but I didn't! One day down just a few more to go!!

xxoo,
Jaime

Thursday, October 8, 2009

I'm Not the Only One

It is so comforting to see stories that make your craziness seem a little less crazy! It just so happens that one of the girls on soulcysters tested early yesterday and was beating herself up about it. One of the other girls replied to her with the below:

Just try to think about all of us out there doing the same thing as you in the morning: trying to hold our negative tests up to all kinds of light sources for 30 minutes, putting them down by the sink, walking out of the room, running back in with our glasses on this time and picking it up again to hold it by the window for natural light. then standing there contemplating tearing the test apart to see what's inside and eyeing the trash can to dig out yesterday's test for comparison. OMG - What is wrong with me?

Did she read my blog? It's like she has a video camera in my bathroom! It's nice to know I'm not the only crazy person out there. I do have a little more justification for testing early than most people though. I am supposed to start Lovenox injections as soon as I get a positive test. The sooner the better to prevent another miscarriage. So now I'm sitting here freaking myself out because what if I wait until the day of my blood test and it is positive? Then what if I miscarry? I know I'll blame myself for not testing early so I could start the injections as soon as possible! SEE - I told you I would start rationalizing some reason why I have to test early! What to do.... What to do! We'll see if John stays strong and if he does if I can keep from sneaking to the store to buy a test!

Here's a pic of Tristan with her new 12U Vipers Softball time. She has played with several of these girls for three or four years but a couple of them are new. They have not been able to play much ball this fall due to the endless raining and illnesses. I think their tournament this weekend may be rained out too. This picture is of their only real tournament where they came in 2nd place! Of course it happened while we were in Cancun...

xxoo,
Jaime

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

A Case of the Crazies

Earlier this week I decided that I am not going to test early this month. I always make myself crazy because I'll get a positive test about 4 days before my blood test. I know that it's from the hcg trigger and that it's not a real positive. But I walk around all day getting excited and thinking that maybe I am. Then I'll test the next day to see if the line is darker, lighter or the same. It's usually lighter or not there. Then I'll go check it about 1,000 times (maybe exaggerating a little but it's close) throughout the day to see if a line has "magically" appeared. I know I'm crazy! I'll hold it up to every type of light possible... natural, lamp, vanity, sometimes even a flash light. I'll tell myself "you're crazy! Stop taking tests!" but I can't help myself. It's a sickness! Not this month!! I gave my tests (tests plural because I buy them in bulk off the internet) to my wonderful hubby this morning and told him to hide them. I told him under no circumstances is he to give them to me until the day of my blood test. He laughed but I told him I was serious. I told him in a few days I'm going to come to him and say there is some symptom that makes me think I'm pregnant and I need a test and that he has to stay strong and say NO! He knows I'm crazy but he loves me anyway.

As for my sinus infection, I think it may finally be trying to clear up. I don't sound quite as sickly today and my head doesn't hurt as much. Hope you guys are all doing well!

xxoo,
Jaime

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Halfway there

I'm about halfway through the 2WW. I should know if this is the month by next Tuesday! This is the LONGEST 2WW ever!! It doesn't help that I've been sick so time has been creeping by. And yes I am still sick. I guess I'm going to call the doctor back today to see if there is something else I can do. It's hard because they have to act as if I'm pregnant during the 2WW so they can only give me certain antibiotics.

xxoo,
Jaime

Monday, October 5, 2009

Inspiration

I'm still not really feeling better. I only have one day left of the antibiotic so surely I have to better by tomorrow.... right? I am at work today because I figured I can either feel bad on the couch or feel bad at work. I might as well get some work done. Especially with the layoffs coming. I don't want to give them any reason to let me go first!

I mentioned my soulcysters on a post last month. There are about 12 of us who keep up with each other and give support. Kathleen is one of the ladies. She has had a terrible time. She got pregnant with twins in April and lost one due to vanishing twin syndrome at 6 weeks and the other due to parvo infection at 13 weeks. I can't even imagine! Below is how Kathleen's cycle went last month. She's a true inspiration after all of the ups and downs.

9/4
Had another follie check today. Right ovary: 14, 11, 11; Left ovary: 16, 11. So this is good. It looks like I have 2 follies maturing. I'm good with that. I'd prefer 3, but 2 is juuuust fiiiine! I'm actually allowing myself to feel optimistic about this cycle. Normally I'm pessimistic the whole time to prepare myself for disappointment, but this time I'm gonna go ahead and allow myself to have hope!

9/5
I am so angry with myself right now. Yesterday, I had a 14, a 16, and 2 11's. Today, after not having enough medicine last night due to my own stupidity, I have an 11, a 12, and a 19. So, I'm ready to go, but with only ONE follicle. I'm so annoyed and upset. It seems like whenever I allow myself to be optimistic, it gets thrown back in my face. I finally felt optimistic about my pregnancy when I heard the baby's heart at home with my doppler around 12.5 weeks. I actually told myself "Stop worrying, Kathleen. You WILL have this baby." Two days later, I had my NT scan and found out he would most likely die, and four days after that I found out that he was dead. I feel like I'm never going to have a baby, and by feeling optimistic I'm just setting myself up to be heartbroken, once again. As if that wasn't bad enough, these cycles are coming out costing us close to $1000 each in copays, medicine, and IUIs, and that's WITH insurance. Eventually - no, SOON - we're going to run out of money. Words cannot even begin to express how much I hate this process, how much I hate that we have to PAY to get pregnant, how much I hate the constant roller coaster of emotions.

9/10
Hi girls. Just got my 3dpo progesterone test results. Only 6.5. Better than last cycle (which was 4.5, I believe), but not terribly high either.

9/19
Well, ladies, I'm home from vacation. It was a wonderful getaway: perfect weather, peace and solitude, and plenty of relaxation. I could feel the stress and anxiety melt away as soon as we got there. Oh yeah. And I'm pregnant!!!!!!
I cried-no sobbed-tears of joy, with my body shaking, for a good 15 minutes when that "Pregnant" came up. I was flooded with so many emotions.


Hopefully I will have a story like this to tell soon!
xxoo,
Jaime

Friday, October 2, 2009

Sinus Infection

Yep. That's what I have. I went to an ENT this morning who gave me a prescription for some antibiotics and sent me on my way. I'm feeling a little better than yesterday. At least I'm not coughing up a lung today. However, my ears and head hurt now. Hopefully the meds will knock it out and I'll be good as new in a couple of days!

xxoo,
Jaime

Thursday, October 1, 2009

A Brand New Day

After a good night's sleep I'm feeling much better today. I'm not really hurting anymore either which is fantastic! However, I do still have a sore throat and a cough but I'll live. :)
And - Lexi is doing better too. No tummy issues since yesterday afternoon.

A random note: Over the past year I have been making myself eat certain food items so that I will start liking them. It has worked with grapes, mushrooms, blueberries and bananas. I actually crave grapes now. My latest endeavor is hot tea. I don't like any kind of tea... hot, cold, iced... none. When we visit Mom Z in Canada she is always drinking hot tea and seems to really enjoy it. Since I'm always cold it seems like it would be a nice, warm, soothing beverage for the afternoon. Also there have been a lot of positive studies about tea and how good it is for you. So I've tried two of the blends that are in my office. One is an Earl Grey and the other is a black tea with orange essence. I've tried both of these teas with every combination of lemon, sugar, cream and honey. So far the Black tea with lemon and honey is the best combo. Today I'm trying Green Tea with Jasmine. Too bad we're out of honey so I'll have to switch to lemon and sugar. I've been working on this every day for about two weeks and so far I'm not liking it anymore than when I started. Maybe there are some things you just can't make yourself like or maybe I just haven't given it enough time. Also, yesterday I learned the hard way that hot tea is not the best beverage choice to spill in your lap. I knocked over my cup in one of my coughing attacks and spilled it into my lap and all over my keyboard. Now my keys stick together and my pants are at the drycleaners....

xxoo,
Jaime

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Sickly

I'm just overall not doing well today. :(

First, I was in a considerable amount of pain last night; so much so that it upset my stomach. So I got in the bed at 9 but I couldn't fall asleep until about midnight. Second, at 2am Lexi woke me up crying at the side of the bed. Her ears were down and she looked so pitiful. I took her outside and she had some tummy problems too. We came back inside and she curled up on my stomach. The poor thing was shaking uncontrollably. This went on for over an hour so I couldn't sleep with her shaking like that. Third, during the time that I was able to sleep I was waking up every 30 -45 min to cough or swallow because I have some serious drainage issues. So today my throat hurts, I've had very little sleep, and every time I cough it hurts my sore abdomen. Today is not a good day. And poor Lexi is still sickly too. She had more tummy problems this morning and was shaking again. AND - my poor little goddaughter is sick too! We should all crawl into bed and not come out until tomorrow!

My temp was up to 99.0 this morning which usually means that I have ovulated. However, since I'm sick I'm not 100% sure about it.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better!

xxoo,
Jaime

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Holy Cannoli

I got my hcg trigger shot yesterday morning at 8 am and she said I would ovulate about 36 hours later. That means six follicles on the left and two on the right are all going to rupture at the same time tonight! I just started freaking out about this now as my left side has started with the stabbing pains. I ovulated three on one side before and that was quite painful so I can't imagine how bad tonight is going to be! I'm trying to stay positive since two on the left and one on the right were smaller. But they will still rupture even though they're not quite mature. A follicle is technically a "functioning cyst". It will rupture at ovulation and hopefully go away but most women only have one. The doctor did give me some pain medicine so hopefully I'll be ok. I'll let you know tomorrow...

xxoo,
Jaime

Monday, September 28, 2009

I'll take what I can get

My folly check this morning did not go quite as well as I had hoped but it was ok. I had 4 mature follicles on the left side but only one on the right. There were also two that were almost mature on the left which would make for 6 big follicles over there. No wonder that side has been sore. My lining was 8.2mm which is good. I was really hoping for two or three on that right side but I'll take what I can get. If I wasn't on the injections I wouldn't have anything over there so one is better than none. We're not going to do an IUI this month b/c it doesn't seem to help and it costs $375 everytime. So we're just going the old fashioned route and hope that something works!

xxoo,
Jaime

Sunday, September 27, 2009

ROLL TIDE!

This weekend my mom went with me to her first Alabama football game. It rained for a couple of hours before the game and my mom doesn't like to get wet! So my dad was teasing her about how it was going to rain the whole game and she would look like a wet rat. I have to say Mom was looking a bit worried even though she was putting on a brave face.

My dad took us over to my uncle's tailgating party with some of the fam. We stayed there for a while waiting for the rain to ease. It started getting close to game time so my dad offered to drop us off as close to the stadium as he could. It was still about 1/2 mile walk. At this point it was still pouring rain so we put on our ponchos and braved the rain. After just a few minutes of walking the clouds parted and it didn't rain another drop the rest of the day! God decided that it was five minutes till kick off and time to stop the rain and play some football!! It turned out to be the best weather for a game! Not too hot, not too cold... perfect! Here's a pic of us in the rain, then of the stadium and a pic right before we left.





Final score: Alabama 35 Arkansas 7

ROLL TIDE!!

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