Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Technically speaking, I should be starting my period today. I'm cycle day 28. However, I'm 95% sure I ovulated late so I don't think I'm really due to start until 1/4/10. Then I'll go see Dr. H on Day 3 to start my IVF cycle! So exciting!
Sunday, December 27, 2009
We woke up Thurs morning and I made the white chocolate bread pudding. I must toot my own horn and say that it was delish! Tristan was really excited to get to my family's Christmas because she knows she has tons of presents (my mom overdoes it!) The three of us and Lexi jumped in the car around 11am and stayed at my Uncle Jackie's house until about 4pm.
This is a picture of my brother playing with the kids.
We took Tristan to her mom's house Thursday night and then finally headed home around 9pm. When we got home John gave Lexi a little bit of ham for dinner. That was a HUGE mistake! About 30 minutes later she started crying at the door. She had some tummy problems and we thought she was done. We were wrong! Every hour after that she would cry at the corner of the bed which means she had to go outside. Then one of the times John took her, he walked into the living room to get his phone and stepped in a big puddle of vomit... barefoot! EWWW! I came running when I heard him screaming and yelling. We cleaned that up and went back to bed. About an hour later (4am) Lexi crawled up to my face and was smacking her lips like she was eating something. I opened my eyes and saw her staring at me with those sad eyes and then she almost puked all over my face! Luckily I picked her up fast and got her in the bathroom. She finally stopped at around 5am so we got a little sleep. Tristan was calling about every 30 minutes for us to come over so she could open her presents. Poor thing! Lexi made a full recovery but we didn't take her to Tristan's or back to Tuscaloosa that afternoon. She needed her rest.
Tristan got a ton of stuff and loved it all. She's still not quite to the point where she wants clothes but she didn't complain about it as much as last year. In fact, one of her favorite presents was a shirt that John got her. Another of her favorite gifts was a key necklace with real diamonds that John went and picked out by himself at Kay's Jewelers. He wrote a sweet note and put it in the box. Here's a picture of her in the shirt and one of her with the necklace.
Today and yesterday were pretty laid back which is just we needed. We have to get back to work tomorrow.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
My cyst must be gone now because I'm feeling a lot better. Now I'm just waiting for Mother Nature so we can get this show on the road. The problem is that I don't know when or if I ovulated. I have about a 13 day luteal phase (the time between ovulation and period) so if I didn't ovulate until a day or two ago then I still have a couple of weeks left. But if I ovulated around the time I was supposed to then I only have a few days left. I just have to be patient I suppose!
John took Tristan ice skating yesterday and I think they're going to see Alvin and the Chipmunks today. I think I finally finished up my Christmas shopping and I can't wait to sit back and relax today. Tomorrow we're going to Tuscaloosa for my Dad's family Christmas and then our immediate family Christmas. It's always fun so I'll make sure to post some pictures.
Hope you all have a Merry Christmas!
Monday, December 21, 2009
She just gave me a timeline and told me exactly what would happen. I wait for my period and then go in on Day 3. I will get a lot of blood work done and they will check for cysts. If I have cysts I will have to take the BCPs until the cysts are gone. That could be anywhere from 2-4 weeks. After the BCPs I start the injections. They will monitor me closely and hope to get me around 10-15 follicles. Depending on egg quality and number she could freeze some for later. Then five days later they'll put 1 or 2 back in. Then 9 days after that I have a blood pregnancy test. So they whole shebang should take about 6-8 weeks depending on how long I have to be on the BCPs.
Hope you all are doing well!
Friday, December 18, 2009
I am going shopping tomorrow to try to finish up Christmas and then Heather is having a slumber party! FUN! We were instructed to wear Christmas PJs and bring a gift for dirty santa. I'm sure it'll be a blast!
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Here's a picture of all of us at brunch. Em, Rach, Jess, me and LL (she just had another eye surgery...hence the glasses)
This is one where Em got the wreath stuck on her head. LL thinks this is hilarious!
We had a great time. We ate a lot and played dirty santa. We also played the Friends Scene It and Disney Scene It games. I love my girls.
John forgot the camera yesterday so he didn't get any pictures of Tristan's Chorus Concert. He said it was fun and she did great.
Fertility update: I don't know that I have ovulated yet. I keep having pains and twinges around my left ovary so I'm not sure if it's the cyst rupturing or ovulation. I'm day 15 today so hopefully I will hurry up and ovulate! The sooner I ovulate, the sooner I can start my next cycle... my IVF cycle!! YAY! John and I are meeting with Dr. H on Monday morning to discuss all things IVF. I'll let you know what goes down.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
John took the camera today because Tristan has a choir performance tonight. I'll try to post pics tomorrow of that and my ladies' brunch.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Jaime G brought her 2 week old baby for his first outing. He's so cute! I took a picture of all of us surrounding him but I'll have to post it tonight.
Tonight John and I are babysitting Emma! I'm so excited! I'll post some pictures of her tonight too.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Fertility news - My left side is starting to hurt so I guess I'll be ovulating in a few days on that side. BOOO! It was a longshot to hope that I would actually ovulate on the right side without some help but I was still hoping.
Finally, the Eberts Blog honored my blog with the Honest Scrap Award. I have to say 10 Honest Things about myself so here goes:
1. I love my husband!
2. I think I want a baby more than anybody in the world has ever wanted a baby. :)
3. One of my biggest fears has always been that I wouldn't be able to have children. Even at a very young age I was scared about it. I guess deep down I knew.
4. John and I both have great families.
5. I have the brain of an accountant but the heart of an artist.
6. I really don't even like accounting but I'm good at it.
7. As you can see from the two above statements, I'm questioning my decision to stay an accountant after I'm laid off next month.
8. I have a lot of great friends.
9. I'm impatient.
10. I have little, baby feelings... as John says :) He once asked me if my little, baby feelings would every grow up to at least toddler feelings. I'll let you know if that happens.
Monday, December 7, 2009
After a weekend filled with many emotions I am actually glad to be back at work and in my element. The highpoint of the weekend was Alabama beating Florida in the SEC Championship! Roll Tide! Now we will play Texas in the National Championship Game! I wish I could go out to California for the game! The rest of the weekend was tough. I can't really go into it because it's not directly related to me and I don't want to tell someone else's story but John and I could use an extra prayer or two if you have some sitting around. Praying for patience!
We finally did decide to make this a natural cycle and if I'm not pregnant we'll do IVF in January. I'm extremely nervous about this decision but I've prayed about it and I feel it's finally time. After 2 1/2 years it's time to pull out the big guns!
Friday, December 4, 2009
The one bit of good news is that she found my vein on the first try. They're going to analyze my blood and call back this afternoon with my options.
update - Just got a call from the nurse. Of course my labs were PERFECT for IVF. However, if I start BCPs now I would start IVF at the end of Dec. She said she can't drag out the pills into January. We really wanted to wait to do IVF in January for tax reasons (I'm a tax nerd, I know!) SO... I can either do a natural cycle this month (pointless) or start BCPs and do another injectable cycle in January. That would push IVF until almost March though. So many decisions! All feedback will be much appreciated... should we take the pills and try one more injectable cycle or do a natural cycle and then IVF in January? AND to top it all off there are no guarantees that my labs will be good for IVF after this natural cycle. I am not equipped to make these decisions so I need some help from you guys!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
I did not cry this morning or even get upset. My overall emotion was hopeful! I am excited to get this last cycle underway. You see, I never really let myself get up for a cycle. With every bit of good news I let myself go a little higher but I'm always very reserved with my hopefulness. The thought of letting myself go and putting all of my hopes on a cycle is scary. To let yourself get that high and then just come crashing down if it doesn't work is too much pain every month. However, since we're doing IVF next month I am putting all of my eggs in this month's basket. Even if it doesn't work I should be able to recover fairly quickly since I know I'll have the hope from IVF. So please join me in praying, hoping and wishing that this will be THE cycle! I'm going to be flying high this month with optimism and positiveness! I will not let doubts, worries or fear get in my path!
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
I tested this morning and it was negative so I stopped taking the progesterone. Hopefully Mother Nature will show soon so we can get this last cycle started! Please let this be the one so we don't have to do IVF!!
Monday, November 30, 2009
Only two days until I test! I know I ovulated on the wrong side, early and my lining was thin but I can still be hopeful right? Since I had the hcg shot, too my disdain, I can't test early. I would run the risk of a false positive and that would just be HORRIBLE! I can't imagine getting super excited and thinking you're pregnant but you're not. So I'm waiting the recommended amount of time. I am at peace this month even if it's negative because we have a plan. You know how I love a plan.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
If you're wondering where I am in my cycle I am 9 dpo. That means I can test Wednesday and if it's negative stop taking the progesterone so Mother Nature should come calling Friday or Saturday. Then I can start my next and "last cycle" of injectables. I put last cycle in quotation marks because we've been saying last cycle for months! But I'm 90% sure this time if it doesn't work that we'll do IVF in January.
First is a picture of my Nana and her five children. Left to right, back then front is Johnny, Jerry (my dad), Jimmy, Jackie, my Nana, and Pam.
This is my Dad, my mom, Julie and me. My brother had already left so we couldn't make it of the whole fam.
This is me and my Nana
And finally this is one of the kids jumping on the trampoline. There's Katelyn, Austin, Marla and Brylan.
Somehow John managed to dodge all of the picture taking this year. I'll have to make sure I get him at Christmas!
Friday, November 27, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
We're going to my Aunt Pam's house tomorrow for my Dad's annual family Thanksgiving dinner. There are about 30-35 of us who attend so it's usually an eventful day.
Your very blessed friend,
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
In the spirit of some other fabulous ladies I know who blog, I'm going to mention the gifts in my life I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving week. Today I am grateful for my compassionate husband and How I Met Your Mother... One of the funniest shows ever! Last night's episode was "Slapsgiving 2" which is a sequel to last year's "Slapsgiving". It was by far one of the funniest episodes and John and Tristan actually play slapsgiving now all year long. I can't tell you how thrilled I was that last night was a sequel to that episode. God works in mysterious ways! Only He would know a silly TV show could pull me out of my funk.
Monday, November 23, 2009
A poem for my baby girl
There is not much happiness in my world today
I wish you were here to celebrate your 1st Birthday
You should be eating cake and making a mess
Instead I’m stuck here with this terrible sadness
You should be learning to walk while I hold your hand
You should be able to smile, speak and stand.
Every night I would rub my belly, talk to you and pray
That God would let me keep you just one more day
How selfish I was not to want to let you go
I still wish I could have had you in my arms to hold
Although I may be sad that you are not here
I know that God had a different path to steer
The three weeks we shared together were like no other
I can’t tell you how grateful I am you made me a mother
Though you were only with me a few short weeks of time
I loved you every minute, every second you were mine
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
Tristan has her Greek Day presentation today. John is going this morning and taking pictures so I'll post them this weekend. She is dressed in her beautiful gown and jewelry, armed with pictures from her Uncle Chris's trip to Greece and Greek cookies her Yia Yia made. She most definitely will be the best presentation!
Update on my mom - It looks like her gallbladder is clear. She had some inflammation in her tummy so they think it may be acid reflux... maybe that's who I got it from!
Update on my soulcyster, Kathleen. This was her post this morning: Just got back from the NT scan. All clear! 1 in 7950 chance of Down Syndrome and 1 in 10,000 chance of Trisomy 13 or 18. That's very good!! The baby looked good, lots of wiggling around and moving his/her arms and legs. I'm so relieved. This is the stage when my last pregnancy ended, so now I'm about to embark on new territory.
What a miracle! I hope I get mine soon!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
It's going to be close with the insurance though. We were told yesterday that we are pretty sure to have a job until Dec 31st. After that they will start laying people off. They want the whole deal done by Jan 31st now! SO - If I get laid off in Jan my insurance will only go through Jan 31st. Uh oh! I won't start IVF until probably the second week in January which means it will be done in February. I'll be switching insurances in the middle of the cycle and I'm not sure if John's insurance covers any of the monitoring. Decisions. Decisions.
I hope this Thursday is working out better for you than it is for me!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
1. Our new floor! Isn't it lovely!
2. John working hard3. Papou, Tristan and Yia Yia standing on the new floor.
Monday, November 16, 2009
The floor is done and looks great! I took some pictures of it last night and will try to post either tonight or tomorrow. It's amazing how it completed the kitchen!
I'm thinking of my mom today as she is having some tests for her upset tummy. You may remember she was hospitalized not too long ago for it. They never really found out what was wrong so today they're doing an ultrasound on her gallbladder and then putting her under and running a tube down into her stomach.
She and my Dad came by for a little while yesterday. It was nice to see the families get together. They're completely different but somehow it works!
Fertility news - I started injections Friday and will have an appt Thurs to see what's happening in there! Hopefully something on the right!!
Friday, November 13, 2009
Supper Club was great last night but I got a migraine while I was there and had to go home. I hate that I didn't get to enjoy the company and great food!
The floor is looking GREAT! I can't wait to post a pic!
This weekend I think we're just going to hang out and enjoy the beautiful weather. Mom and Dad are driving back from NC on Saturday and will hopefully be able to stop by for a bit. I'm taking off a little early today so we should have a good, long weekend.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Everything else is going great! The tiles are down and I think they're laying the grout today. Yay! I can't wait to have my kitchen back. My fridge is in the dining room!!
John's parents have taken quite a liking to Little Miss Lexi. I thought she may get on their nerves during the day but Mom Z has been taking her for walks so I think she's been pretty content. I know she's going to miss them so much when they leave!
I have the 3rd month of Supper Club tonight so I'm planning to go by for a little while. It's at Heather's this month and she's planning a full Thanksgiving meal! YUM!
Update - They finally called with my results. E2 was 56 and FSH was 13. FSH is a little high but my E2 is so good that it makes up for it a bit. So I start injections tomorrow. She upped my dose to 100iu because I only have three sad little antral follicles on the right but 8 antrals on the left. So I have to get a little more meds to get the right side going. Here's hoping Round 4 of injectables will finally be the month!
Monday, November 9, 2009
That was the good news however I still have a "moderately positive" for my anticardiolipin count (blood clotting issue). Even with the baby aspirin I'm taking every day. I think this means I'll definitely have to see a hematoligist now. Booo. I'm pretty sure it just means I'll have to take Lovenox injections (blood thinner) every day I'm pregnant until I give birth! That's A LOT of injections! But the downgrade of my Lupus diagnosis outweighs this little bit of bad news by a ton! I know my family and friends have been praying about my lupus for years and now it seems that God may be healing me. Maybe He wanted to work on that miracle before He could start working on my baby miracle.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
I was surprised with some sweet bread and cookies when they got here! Yum! Mom Z knows I love my sweets! They also brought us a bottle of Grey Goose from the Duty Free... always a great gift. Tonight we had pork tenderloin, veggies and potatoes followed by cookies. I can tell I will be 5 lbs heavier by the time they leave. Right now Tristan and her Yia Yia are snuggling on the couch and John and his Dad are working on the kitchen floor. Hopefully they'll be done by the weekend.
I took a test today in case I beat the 1% odds but of course it was negative. I know I only ovulated on the left side and my lining was too thin but I had to check just in case. Relaxing didn't make a baby this month but it was nice not to be hopped up on hormones all month. I should start injections again sometime next week as long as my cysts are gone. Two more girls from my soulcysters got pregnant this month so hopefully I'll be close behind!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
2 days until they arrive!!
Monday, November 2, 2009
While we were talking with Dr. Honea she asked me what my hematologist thinks of my blood clotting issue. I told her that I've never seen a hematologist so she gave me a doctor and said that I definitely need to go see him. Then she asked me about my migraines. She asked what my last MRI showed and I told her that I didn't get one b/c every time I tell a doctor I'm TTC they say to come back after I've had the baby. SO - she gave me the name to another doctor and told me to go see him and tell him that I'm taking a break so he'll do the scan. Then she gave me the name to an ENT who gives her a mouth rinse for ulcers and said that I should go see him to get this prescription. THEN - she said she wanted me to go see the high risk OB before I actually get pregnant and gave me a few names. REALLY! FOUR new doctors!!! Are you kidding me?!? Who has time for all of that? I'm exhausted just thinking about it!
Brighter note: Only 5 days until Mom and Dad Z arrive! YAY!
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
I found this online and it is quite fitting. Pretty funny stuff.
What Nobody Told You About Trying to Conceive...
That unprotected sex doesn't necessarily lead to pregnancy.
That your sex life would start to resemble a science experiment.
That the longer you TTC, the more PG women spring up around you.
That you would know more about the female reproductive system and menstrual cycle than most of the doctors.
That living your life in 2 week increments would be the norm.
That simply relaxing will NOT get you pregnant.
That you have no control over some of the goals you set...
That wishing really hard for something doesn't make it happen.
That a pregnancy doesn't always equal a baby.
That you wasted ALOT of money on Birth control pills!!
That you would be willing to stick a little blue pill in your hoo-haa.
That you would be willing to stab yourself in the stomach with a needle every day.
That it is insensitive to ask people when they are having a baby!
That medicine and procedures are not a sure fire way to get pregnant but it is a sure fire way to lose money fast.
That infertility is more common than you think.
That there is nothing to aid conception in the water at work, despite what some may say.
That foreplay would consist of your husband asking "How's your cervix today"
That an HSG will tell you more than just whether or not your tubes are blocked. I had no idea your uterus could be misshaped.
That one person could be "cursed" with so many different fertility problems.
That your husband would be overly concerned that your BD positions were the most effective ones!
That you would become addicted to peeing on a stick!
That you would learn to speak in code:“I checked Cm which was EWCM but when I will POAS who knows, dh won't let me for fear of BFN”
That you would meet such a wonderful group of people that you can share your sorrow, frustration and fears with and not even know their last names.
That the two little words "just relax" uttered by everyone you know would infuriate you beyond belief.
That you wouldn't know how important a baby was to you until it took so long and you realized what you were willing to do.
I especially like the last one. I know what I am willing to do to have a baby... I'll move mountains if I have to!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
John is going to get her for a little while tonight to carve a pumpkin since he didn't really have her Sunday. Every year they carve a pumpkin together so I'm glad they could work in some time to keep the tradition.
Monday, October 26, 2009
On a brighter note Friday night we found out when Mom and Dad Z would be coming down to see us! They're coming Nov 7th - Nov 17th! YAY! We're so excited! Now all I need to do is scrub my entire house ceiling to floor! Any volunteers to help? haha
Saturday I went to the Alabama vs Tennessee game with Rachel. It was a nail biter! With 4 seconds left in the game we were winning 12-10 but Tennessee was in field goal territory. Here's the scenario... If they make the field goal we will lose 12-13. OMG! Imagine 90,000 people screaming as loud as they can! We take a time out to ice the kicker. The anticipation is killing us! More screaming. The kicker sets up, ball is placed, he kicks, ball is up..... it's blocked!!! It's blocked!!! Somehow 350 lb. "Mount" Cody broke through the line, flung himself in the air and blocked the kick! We win!
While all of that was happening... Tristan and John were at softball. Tristan's team won the first two games easily but then lost the third. Sunday they had another game and fell to the same team. Tristan wanted to stay and watch the rest of the tournament with her friends so John and I went home. Actually... I went to meet my friend Gloria (a.k.a. G-slo) and her boyfriend, Matt, for lunch who were in town this weekend from Houston, TX. It was so good seeing them! Maybe there will be wedding bells so I can see them again soon!
Friday, October 23, 2009
I have often wondered what Heaven will be like. Now I know it will have to include these!
I called yesterday to make an appt with my rheumatologist. It usually takes several months to get in with him but he had a cancellation for today at 2pm so I took it. I'm supposed to see him every 6 months to assess the Lupus but I haven't seen him in well over a year now. I think I'm going to be in trouble. But it's so hard to make appts with other doctors when I have to make so many for infertility! Also, I'm a very healthy sick person... at least that's what he says. I'm the healthiest sick person he's ever seen. So it's hard to make appts for things that aren't even bothering me. I know they need to monitor me from time to time so I'm going... I'm going!
John talked to his parents this week and we're trying to get them to come down here in Nov or Dec! YAY! Canadian followers - Please urge them to come and see us! We miss them!
We get Tristan this weekend! She has a tournament on Saturday and Sunday so it looks like most of the weekend will be at the ball field. However, tomorrow I'm going to the Alabama game. My fabulous friend, Rachel, has an extra ticket so I'll be cheering on the Tide for a victory over Tennessee! Then I'll cheer on Tristan and the Vipers on Sunday! Sounds like I'm going to do a lot of cheering this weekend! :)
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Please keep Jessica's daughter (my lovely goddaughter) Emma in your prayers. She had tubes put in her ears this morning which I know is quite routine but it's always nerve wracking when it's your little sweetheart! Jess said that she's done and seems to be doing well.
I finally went to the doctor this morning about my wrist. Since I have to go to appts so often for my fertility issues I have been letting all of the other doctor's visits slip. I still need a crown because I cracked my tooth, I haven't been to my rheumatologist in over a year and I needed to see a doctor about my possible carpal tunnel. Check the carpal tunnel doc off the list! Canadian followers - Employers here take out worker's compensation insurance for employees who are hurt on the job. I'm not sure if Canada does this since you get free healthcare. I've never used w/c before but my office wanted me to use it instead of using my health insurance. So I went to the company appointed doctor this morning. It was weird! The bottom line is that I need a nerve study. Since my work wanted me to do it through W/C there are all of these conditions that have to be met. He also thinks the carpal tunnel could be due to the lupus and not work related. I told him that I didn't care if it was work related or if I needed to go through my insurance or whatever! Just give me some exercises or stretches to make it better! He said he would have to call my work and see what they think and that I need to see my rheumatologist for a second opinion and blah, blah, blah. Ridiculous! I didn't realize this was going to be so difficult. Not to mention that my skeeze-o-meter was off the chart! The doctor was a super close talker and just gave off this weird vibe. Also, he said I seem like a very nice "woman" and that he hopes he will be able to work with me. Those words may not sound bad but it was the way he said them. The emphasis was on the word "woman" which most southerners wouldn't say. They would say lady. And he was all up in my face and talking in a trying-to-be seductive tone with his hand on my knee. eeeewwww! My skeeze-o-meter is almost always right.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
A couple of important things happened this weekend. First, on Friday night John met Ben, Tristan's boyfriend. Tristan went to the Hoover vs Vestavia game with a lot of her friends and John decided to go with a friend of his while I was at dinner with the girls. When Tristan saw him there he said she made the "OMG why is my dad here" face. She was sitting beside Ben so John walked up to talk to them. John said that Ben stood up and shook his hand and seemed really, really nervous. What a milestone... John met the first of most likely many, many boyfriends to come.
Saturday the Alabama Crimson Tide welcomed the #22 ranked University of South Carolina for Homecoming. My fabulous friend Rachel gave us tickets to the game. We were a little nervous that we would freeze during the game so we made sure to layer well. John only had on a pair of jeans so I suggested he put on some thermals. He said he didn't have any so I found a pair of stretchy tights that he wore. If only I could have snuck a quick picture... let's just say it's a good thing we're not trying to make a baby this month. Those were some skin tight pants! When we got to our seats we were pleasantly surprised that the wind was blocked in our area so it turned out to be a pretty nice game!
Before the game. I have on 4 layers of clothes!
The band getting us fired up for the game!
Saban and the boys heading toward the field!
During the game when it was a little colder!
Final score: Alabama 20 South Carolina 6
Today was a little less eventful. I made a big pot of soup and cleaned while John had a soccer game. After that we went to a movie.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Since I will be unable to talk about fertility related news for the next few weeks you'll have to settle for updates on our day to day activities. John and I are sometimes quite boring so I may not write every day but I'll fill you in with some highlights. As promised in a previous post, the below is a picture of the artwork I made. It's just two small canvases covered in scrapbook paper on each side of the china cabinet. I didn't get the gold pen yet to trace the outlines of the designs so try to imagine that in the finished product.
Please keep my Great Aunt Ann in your prayers. She had an 80% blockage in her heart but is on the road to recovery now.
Finally, John and I are going to the Alabama Homecoming game Saturday night. Exciting! I'll post some pictures this weekend! Roll Tide!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
There is always a bright side and this one is that I don't have to take shots this month! No pills, no shots, no little green tablets that have to go in unmentionable places, no doctor's appts, no blood work... just me and the hubs trying the old fashioned way. WEIRD!
Also worth mentioning... I had a backbone today! Casey, the NP I had today, was desperately trying to take my blood. This was our conversation: Casey: "We should probably get some blood today to..." Me: interrupting "ummmm. I don't think so." Casey: "But with your history it would be better if we..." Me: "ummm. no:" Casey: "But I really think..." Me: "What will it determine if you take blood today? IF the blood work is good would I be able to do injectables?" Casey: "No" Me: "If the blood work is bad would you do anything differently than what we're doing now?" Casey: "no" Me: "Then why should I be subjected to torture and risk having bad blood work that could eliminate me from the IVF program?" Casey: "Fine. No blood work" YAY ME! No blood work!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Update on my friend Kathleen - She had her second u/s today at 7 weeks and everything looks great. That is one perk of being fertility challenged. Once you do finally get pregnant you get an u/s once a week until you're 12 weeks and released to the OB. Very nice! I can't imagine being you normal people who have to wait until 10 or 11 weeks to get the first one and only get one or two the ENTIRE pregnancy!
I finally broke down this morning and am taking another antibiotic. I still have a headache which I thought may have been from my hormones but now I believe may be my sinuses. Also, I'm still coughing up some yucky looking stuff. Hopefully this second round will finally do the trick! I have my baseline appt tomorrow morning so I'll let you know how it goes.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
My head has been hurting for the past two days and I can't seem to shake it. I guess it's due to my hormones since I stopped taking the progesterone. Mother Nature did come knocking this morning so I made my baseline appointment for Thursday to see if I have cysts. I'm thinking one more injectable cycle, a natural (break) cycle and then IVF. Or if I have cysts then a natural cycle this time, injectable cycle then IVF. I'm going to talk with NP Thursday about all of my options. IVF just seems so final. That's the last step... the Hail Mary pass. If we try IVF and she says my eggs are bad then it's over. There's nothing else to try.
Alabama Football update - We leapfrogged Texas in the polls which makes us #2 in the nation after our 22-3 victory over Ole Miss Saturday! Woop! Woop! How familiar it is for Florida and Alabama to be ranking #1 and #2! Hopefully this year will have a better outcome! This Saturday is Homecoming where we welcome a very good South Carolina team. RTR!
Monday, October 12, 2009
Tristan left yesterday at 3 to go see her Nana but John is supposed to get her back at around noon. It's Columbus Day so she's out of school and he's off work. I am not so lucky! He's planning to take her bowling and out to eat as her reward for all A's. She's still on the not eating anything I make kick so I didn't make the fondue. She also doesn't like to shop so I couldn't buy her a new outfit which was my backup plan. Maybe in another year or so she'll grow into the shopping.
Yesterday we were watching America's Next Top Model and Tristan started trying to do a runway walk. It was really funny. So I got up and tried to teach her how to swing those hips and even John get in on the action. I took some video of them strutting their stuff but John said he would beat me if I posted it. Maybe I can sneak it on later.... so funny!
Hope everyone is doing well! Happy Thanksgiving to my Canadian family!
Friday, October 9, 2009
BTW - John has stayed strong. I normally would have started testing this morning but I didn't! One day down just a few more to go!!
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Just try to think about all of us out there doing the same thing as you in the morning: trying to hold our negative tests up to all kinds of light sources for 30 minutes, putting them down by the sink, walking out of the room, running back in with our glasses on this time and picking it up again to hold it by the window for natural light. then standing there contemplating tearing the test apart to see what's inside and eyeing the trash can to dig out yesterday's test for comparison. OMG - What is wrong with me?
Did she read my blog? It's like she has a video camera in my bathroom! It's nice to know I'm not the only crazy person out there. I do have a little more justification for testing early than most people though. I am supposed to start Lovenox injections as soon as I get a positive test. The sooner the better to prevent another miscarriage. So now I'm sitting here freaking myself out because what if I wait until the day of my blood test and it is positive? Then what if I miscarry? I know I'll blame myself for not testing early so I could start the injections as soon as possible! SEE - I told you I would start rationalizing some reason why I have to test early! What to do.... What to do! We'll see if John stays strong and if he does if I can keep from sneaking to the store to buy a test!
Here's a pic of Tristan with her new 12U Vipers Softball time. She has played with several of these girls for three or four years but a couple of them are new. They have not been able to play much ball this fall due to the endless raining and illnesses. I think their tournament this weekend may be rained out too. This picture is of their only real tournament where they came in 2nd place! Of course it happened while we were in Cancun...
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
As for my sinus infection, I think it may finally be trying to clear up. I don't sound quite as sickly today and my head doesn't hurt as much. Hope you guys are all doing well!
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
I mentioned my soulcysters on a post last month. There are about 12 of us who keep up with each other and give support. Kathleen is one of the ladies. She has had a terrible time. She got pregnant with twins in April and lost one due to vanishing twin syndrome at 6 weeks and the other due to parvo infection at 13 weeks. I can't even imagine! Below is how Kathleen's cycle went last month. She's a true inspiration after all of the ups and downs.
Had another follie check today. Right ovary: 14, 11, 11; Left ovary: 16, 11. So this is good. It looks like I have 2 follies maturing. I'm good with that. I'd prefer 3, but 2 is juuuust fiiiine! I'm actually allowing myself to feel optimistic about this cycle. Normally I'm pessimistic the whole time to prepare myself for disappointment, but this time I'm gonna go ahead and allow myself to have hope!
I am so angry with myself right now. Yesterday, I had a 14, a 16, and 2 11's. Today, after not having enough medicine last night due to my own stupidity, I have an 11, a 12, and a 19. So, I'm ready to go, but with only ONE follicle. I'm so annoyed and upset. It seems like whenever I allow myself to be optimistic, it gets thrown back in my face. I finally felt optimistic about my pregnancy when I heard the baby's heart at home with my doppler around 12.5 weeks. I actually told myself "Stop worrying, Kathleen. You WILL have this baby." Two days later, I had my NT scan and found out he would most likely die, and four days after that I found out that he was dead. I feel like I'm never going to have a baby, and by feeling optimistic I'm just setting myself up to be heartbroken, once again. As if that wasn't bad enough, these cycles are coming out costing us close to $1000 each in copays, medicine, and IUIs, and that's WITH insurance. Eventually - no, SOON - we're going to run out of money. Words cannot even begin to express how much I hate this process, how much I hate that we have to PAY to get pregnant, how much I hate the constant roller coaster of emotions.
Hi girls. Just got my 3dpo progesterone test results. Only 6.5. Better than last cycle (which was 4.5, I believe), but not terribly high either.
Well, ladies, I'm home from vacation. It was a wonderful getaway: perfect weather, peace and solitude, and plenty of relaxation. I could feel the stress and anxiety melt away as soon as we got there. Oh yeah. And I'm pregnant!!!!!!
I cried-no sobbed-tears of joy, with my body shaking, for a good 15 minutes when that "Pregnant" came up. I was flooded with so many emotions.
Hopefully I will have a story like this to tell soon!
Friday, October 2, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
And - Lexi is doing better too. No tummy issues since yesterday afternoon.
A random note: Over the past year I have been making myself eat certain food items so that I will start liking them. It has worked with grapes, mushrooms, blueberries and bananas. I actually crave grapes now. My latest endeavor is hot tea. I don't like any kind of tea... hot, cold, iced... none. When we visit Mom Z in Canada she is always drinking hot tea and seems to really enjoy it. Since I'm always cold it seems like it would be a nice, warm, soothing beverage for the afternoon. Also there have been a lot of positive studies about tea and how good it is for you. So I've tried two of the blends that are in my office. One is an Earl Grey and the other is a black tea with orange essence. I've tried both of these teas with every combination of lemon, sugar, cream and honey. So far the Black tea with lemon and honey is the best combo. Today I'm trying Green Tea with Jasmine. Too bad we're out of honey so I'll have to switch to lemon and sugar. I've been working on this every day for about two weeks and so far I'm not liking it anymore than when I started. Maybe there are some things you just can't make yourself like or maybe I just haven't given it enough time. Also, yesterday I learned the hard way that hot tea is not the best beverage choice to spill in your lap. I knocked over my cup in one of my coughing attacks and spilled it into my lap and all over my keyboard. Now my keys stick together and my pants are at the drycleaners....
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
First, I was in a considerable amount of pain last night; so much so that it upset my stomach. So I got in the bed at 9 but I couldn't fall asleep until about midnight. Second, at 2am Lexi woke me up crying at the side of the bed. Her ears were down and she looked so pitiful. I took her outside and she had some tummy problems too. We came back inside and she curled up on my stomach. The poor thing was shaking uncontrollably. This went on for over an hour so I couldn't sleep with her shaking like that. Third, during the time that I was able to sleep I was waking up every 30 -45 min to cough or swallow because I have some serious drainage issues. So today my throat hurts, I've had very little sleep, and every time I cough it hurts my sore abdomen. Today is not a good day. And poor Lexi is still sickly too. She had more tummy problems this morning and was shaking again. AND - my poor little goddaughter is sick too! We should all crawl into bed and not come out until tomorrow!
My temp was up to 99.0 this morning which usually means that I have ovulated. However, since I'm sick I'm not 100% sure about it.
Hopefully tomorrow will be better!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
My dad took us over to my uncle's tailgating party with some of the fam. We stayed there for a while waiting for the rain to ease. It started getting close to game time so my dad offered to drop us off as close to the stadium as he could. It was still about 1/2 mile walk. At this point it was still pouring rain so we put on our ponchos and braved the rain. After just a few minutes of walking the clouds parted and it didn't rain another drop the rest of the day! God decided that it was five minutes till kick off and time to stop the rain and play some football!! It turned out to be the best weather for a game! Not too hot, not too cold... perfect! Here's a pic of us in the rain, then of the stadium and a pic right before we left.