Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Our new pieces








Here's a picture of our new wine chest, armoire and dresser. And I put a picture of the guys moving the armoire up the stairs. (Don't you love the guy standing there supervising? There's always one of those in the group.) I couldn't watch them move it! I had to physically remove myself from the house because I thought the 2 ton armoire was going to fall backward and crush poor Zack. Luckily they got everything upstairs with only a couple of minor scratches on the furniture and walls.

On the fertility front... I did take a test yesterday and it was negative. BOO! I knew there wasn't much of a shot this month but it's still frustrating. Here's hoping that I'm cyst free when I go to the doctor. I'm expecting to start any second now so on Day 3 of the cycle they'll check to make sure all of that pain that I was in two weeks ago was due to ALL of the cysts bursting and my ovaries are clean as a whistle now.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Look at that sweet face!!


Today was my sweet, goddaughter's dedication. Emma was so beautiful in her gown! I don't have a picture of that yet but I did attach one that was taken after she had already changed. She's so stinkin' cute!! Hopefully I'll be able to post one of her in her gorgeous gown after Jess sends it to me.


Yesterday John and I went to T-town to look for some bedroom furniture. We ended up coming home with a dresser and mirror, armoire and a wine chest! We had a caravan of furniture heading back to B'ham. John was driving one of my Dad's trucks, my dad was in the other and I had the wine chest in my Jeep. It was something. Then John and my dad had to move all of this into the house. Of course we buy nothing but the best so they're all solid wood. My poor 60 year old Dad and John struggled just getting them out of the trucks. Now they're all sitting in the foyer waiting for some good, strong men to help John move them upstairs.... Any volunteers?? :)

Friday, June 26, 2009

I know what you're thinking....

Where is Jaime at in her cycle?? I know... I'm psychic! Well I should start on Wednesday so hopefully she won't delay so that we can get next cycle underway! Or if I'm really hoping, hopefully by the miracle of God, she WILL be delayed as a result of a pregnancy. Although that is only a tiny possiblity since I ovulated on the Left side but only have a tube on the Right side. We're definitely taking a couple of months off if this next cycle doesn't work out. But hopefully since I ovulated on the left side this time I will ovulate on the right side next cycle and everything will fall into place. I'm not going to take the hormones this month. We're just going to do an ultrasound on Day 3 of my cycle to make sure that I don't have any left over cysts and then another ultrasound near ovulation to see which side it's on. IF it's on the right side then we'll decide at that time if we want to try one last IUI before moving to IVF in the fall.
Keep your fingers crosses and pray hard! We need it!

I'll let you know next week what happens.
Jaime

Monday, June 22, 2009

John and Tristan's first ride on the tube - EVER




As most of you know I am a planner. So when Julie called at 1pm on Father's Day to see if we wanted to go to the lake it really shook me to throw all of my plans out the window and go. We had to jump in our swimsuits and run out the door. Boy am I glad we did though. I think it's safe to say that we all had a GREAT time! Here's a picture and video. Sorry for all of the cackling in the background if you have your sound on. They were cracking me up!




xxoo,


Jaime

Sunday, June 21, 2009

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

Happy Father's Day to my wonderful husband! Tristan is so lucky to have you! Here are a couple of pictures of John and Tristan that make me happy. I also put a picture up of Lexi and Kobe. Aren't they cute? He goes home today and we sure will miss him. However, I am thankful that I should be able to get a good night of sleep tonight. Last night I slept with both of them curled up between my legs all night. And Kobe woke up every morning that we've had him at 5:30!! Is that necessary? This morning I locked them both in the basement when they woke up so early and I actually got to sleep until 8:00!

Yesterday we spent a good portion of the day at the softball field. Tristan's team won the tournament so we were all very excited about that! Today I think we're just going to hang out and pamper John. I'm trying to get Tristan out of bed now so we can make him some breakfast!

I hope you guys spoil the dads in your life today!

xxoo,
Jaime

Friday, June 19, 2009

Needle Anxiety

I realized I have developed a pretty severe needle anxiety – and with good reason! I went to get my blood drawn today to see if my P4 went up… we want it to go up. That will indicate that I did ovulate and hopefully there won’t be any residual cysts next month.
I know people think that I’m crazy every time I go to the doctor. I always take the stairs and swing my arms around like a mad woman trying to get some blood flowing to my extremities. When I got to the front desk I finally got the nerve up to say something about my still black and blue arm from over a week ago. I told the girl that I request the older, gray, curly haired woman (can’t remember her name.) I showed her my arm and said not to give me the young little girl. So an older lady did come get me but it wasn’t the one I wanted. Her tag said she had been there 11 years so I assumed she was pretty good. You all know that I only have one good vein and it’s black and blue right now. I told her to be ready for a challenge. She wrapped up one arm and then went to the other and examined every part of my arm closely. She kept saying “are you sure that vein is too sore for me to get it?” YES! It’s too sore! So she finally decided on a vein that to my knowledge no one has ever tried. She dug and dug and dug and then finally asked the little young girl to come over and help. NOOOO! That’s the girl I’m trying to avoid and you’re calling her over?!? She kind of had a smug look on her face b/c it’s obvious that I asked for someone other than her and now that person is asking her for help. She swaggered over and dug for a couple of seconds and then GOT IT! Can I get a table for one with a large serving of CROW? Lord have mercy.

By the way - I think this was pointless because my side stopped hurting and my temp finally went up which means I'm 99% sure I finally ovulated. I really didn't have to get this blood work to make sure but since I was having so many problems this month my doctor wanted to check just to make 100% sure!

Wow that was fast! I got the results already and my P4 was up so I did ovulate. She said for me to come back in 10 days if I haven't started my period to get a blood pregnancy test. WHATEVER! She's already trying to stick me again!! That's what HPT's are for (home pregnancy test for the fertility virgins.) I feel like Rachel Ray who always says EVOO and then follows that with extra virgin olive oil. That irritates me so and here I am doing it myself! I feel like I'm teaching you guys though. :)

I'll try to post some photos this weekend of Lexi and Kobe. I wish I could put them in a little tuxedo and wedding gown. I think that might be a little too much though....

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

A pain in my side - Literally

Since Thursday night a week ago I have been having sharp pains in my left side at night. It started off kind of crampy like and has slowly progressed to the excruciating, crippling pain I felt last night. I couldn't even stand up straight! So I called a nurse today to see if it's still that my body could be trying to ovulate and just can't. She said it sounds like a cyst is trying to rupture. She said I could come in the morning for an ultrasound but there's really not much they can do for it except pain management. BOOO! Why wouldn't they just give me that hcg injection when I asked for it Monday?! I already have a scheduled appt for Friday to give them blood so I told her I could just see a nurse then if they want to do an ultrasound b/c there's no point in me coming in tomorrow. So that's where we stand currently.... a pain in my side!

She did say she would call me in a few Lortab for nighttime though. So if you call me at night and I sound doped up... I am!

Good news - Lexi has a friend spending the next few days with us. He's a Yorkie named Kobe and he's much smaller than her. But that doesn't get her down. Small Guys usually like Big Girls! Haha~

I'll let you know what I found out Friday.

Monday, June 15, 2009

A weekend with the Girls
















What a fun weekend! Saturday my KPMG girls (minus Em) came over to hang out and have margaritas for a while and Sunday I went to Stacey's wedding shower. Two different sets of girls on one weekend = TWICE THE FUN!

I have added some pictures of the KPMG girls being silly on Saturday for your visual enjoyment. LL - yours cracks me up!!!

On the fertility front, I don't think I ever ovulated. My side is still hurting and my temp never went up. So I left a message with the nurse today to see if I should come and get an HCG shot to make them release. I don't want them to develop into cysts and then risk not being able to ovulate on my good side next month!
UPDATE - Got a call back from the nurse 8 hours later! She said for me to come in on Friday to check my progesterone. If it's not up then I didn't ovulate and they'll give me progesterone to enduce a cycle. That should hopefully get rid of any cysts that may develop.

xxoo,
Jaime

Friday, June 12, 2009

I just don't even know

Hello, my name is Jaime and I have a whacked out body!
Good news is that my lab work came back normal for a Day 10 reading. My FSH was normal which means I'll still be a candidate for IVF so that's fantastic! The bad news is that I'm ovulating today so my numbers should have actually been higher. My crazy body. When my numbers are supposed to be low my body wants them high and when my numbers are supposed to be high my body wants them low.
I'm staying positive and holding on to that excellent FSH number! At Day 3 it was 10.2 which is borderline high and now at Day 10 it's down to 3.9. Yay! Maybe I'm not quite to ovarian failure after all.
Now the question is what to do. One more month since it's probable that I will ovulate on the right side next month or throw in the towel for a few months.... I just don't know. My spidey senses are telling me another month. ;) What can I say, I'm a glutten for turmoil!

What do you guys think?

Seriously???

Come on body?!? I was supposed to go in for my Day 10 stress test blood work today. The normal person ovulates around Day 14 and I’m usually around Day 15. They told me to start testing for an LH surge around Day 12 and that indicates ovulation. Well…. yesterday my left ovary (bad side) was hurting all day like it does when I ovulate. I thought that it’s way too early and the meds must be making it hurt. Last night I decided to test my surge (3 days early) just to see because it sure did feel like I was ovulating. Of course, it was positive. So I had to call the surge line to tell them I got a positive on Day 9 which is ridiculous. I had an ultrasound this morning and I had 4 follicles but ALL on the left side! BOO! She said it looked like I had already ovulated or would be doing so in the next few hours. So no hcg shot, no IUI, no suspense…. so anticlimactic for my last month trying before taking a break. I was pretty bummed. She said there is a SLIGHT possibility that the egg could mosey on over to the right tube but it’s not likely. Also, my FSH will be skewed today because it spikes at ovulation. So I know my number will be too high when she calls me and I hope the doctor realizes that this is not a normal Day 10 test. Do you know how many time I have heard “not normal” over the last 2 years?? Haha.
I talked to the NP about taking a break over the summer and she said they would do whatever I wanted. She did say we could try one more month, but on injectables this time, before moving to IVF. I’m going to have to pray about it and discuss it with John. The injectables are $1200 for one month and then it’s $375 for the IUI. That’s a lot cheaper than IVF but what if it doesn’t work? We would have just wasted $1575. But if it works then we would save about $10,000. So much to think about.

Keep those prayers coming!!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Nerves

I'm a little nervous about my blood test tomorrow. Most of what I have read online suggests that if the FSH is high on the Day 10 test then your % of conceiving is only about 10% without donor eggs. Let's pray hard that mine is a good, low number! I should have the results by tomorrow afternoon and I'll post it when I know something.

Mad love to my mom who is out of the hospital and taking it easy. They're still not quite sure what was wrong but we're all thankful she's feeling better! I told her if she ever called my phone and John's phone so many times after 10:30pm again that I'm going to beat her! My heart almost stopped when John came running up to the bedroom saying that she had called several times!

xxoo,
Jaime

Monday, June 8, 2009

Happy Birthday Lexi!

Our little baby is 1 year old today! They grow up so fast!! haha. We celebrated yesterday since we had Tristan this weekend. We got her some jerky treats, dog cookies and a new toy. She loves it all! I took some pictures but forgot my camera at home so I'll put them on tonight. Tristan is a fantastic big sister by the way! We have been letting Lexi run around outside without her leash some. We couldn't get her to come in yesterday afternoon so I told Tristan, after about an hour of trying to get her, that she could go in and watch some TV. She wouldn't leave her though. Lexi wouldn't come to me but she did finally come to Tristan.

Lexi also had a near death experience that involved a snake this weekend. Maybe "near death" is exaggerating a little bit but it was very scary! She was in our neighbors yard, sniffing around the flowers being her playful, curious doggy self when I saw her jump. She likes to play with frogs so I thought one had jumped close to her and scared her (she's a big chicken.) But then she started barking like mad and charging toward it. So I walked over there and saw a black snake on the side walk. I couldn't get her to leave it alone and believe me I tried every trick in my arsenal (i.e. treat, play ball, come give me some sugars) but she would not leave that stupid snake alone. I, of course, was freaking out and flailing about in the neighbors yard... I hope they weren't watching out the window! Finally the snake slithered into some bushes and she couldn't get to it so I grabbed her and ran into the house. Whew, close one! Of course John is never around for these moments and I'm left to take care of things!


Also, I'm sending well wishes and prayers to my mom who is in the hospital today due to mysterious stomach pains. I hope you feel better very soon and I love you!

xxoo,
Jaime

Friday, June 5, 2009

I’m Back and with Good News

Did I mention the emotional rollercoaster?? I had my baseline appt today. They do an ultrasound to make sure you don’t have any cysts and that you have antral follicles (early follicles). For me to be a candidate for IVF I needed at least 12 antral follicles! I had 13!! Talk about a close call! But at least I made it! Also, they did blood work. Apparently the huge note on my file that read “Hard Stick! Please request an expert!” did not get the attention of the little girl that takes blood. I reminded her that I’m a hard stick and she usually has to get someone else to do it. She said she would just try and see. Oh please do that!! I love it when someone jabs a needle in my arm and digs! It’s so much fun! She did finally get it after she called an expert for assistance. I guess I’m just going to have to keep my arm under lock and key and demand an expert next time! Anyway – I got the results a few minutes ago and……. is the anticipation killing you……. I know I’m so mean….. ok I’ll tell you….. it was normal!!!! My E2 if you recall was supposed to be <75 and it was 161 last time. This time it was 65.4! My FSH was supposed to be < 12 and it’s 10.2! So I can try a medicated cycle this time! Hopefully this means I'm not in premenopause. It may be knocking at the door but it hasn't gotten me yet!! The bit of bad news was that I had more early follicles on the left side which is my bad side. But she hopes that the medication will mature at least one on the right side too. I go back next Friday for the Letrozole challenge test. It’s sort of a stress test for the ovary. If that is normal then I should be a great candidate for IVF.
Back to John’s issues. He has a LOT of swimmers! So even though he had a low % of excellent candidates when you multiply that by the crazy number he produces then he’s still pretty good. He’s more about quantity than quality! So if I can get my right side to ovulate then we may try one more IUI before moving on to IVF. That’s a big IF though. If she recommends that we go straight to IVF then we’re going to take the summer off from trying and do the IVF in Octoberish. John and I would love to go to Cancun this summer if anyone wants to join us!!! But don’t worry… I’ll still update the blog with other fun facts from life until we pick back up with the IVF!

I’ll keep you updated!
Jaime

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Sad Swimmers

John was quite pleased with his visit this morning. They led him into a room with a couch and candles to do his business. Then when he was done he flipped a switch and walked out without having to see anyone. This was much better than his experience at Dr. S office where he had to tell the receptionist why he was there in front of a room full of women. Then they would take him to a bathroom where he was supposed to give his sample and then he had to walk back out to find a nurse, cup in hand.

However, while his experience may have been better, the results were not. His morphology was still low so I didn’t sabotage it after all. I still go in tomorrow to get my blood work but it looks like she may push us to IVF. For you infertility virgins, IVF is invitrofertilization. It’s where they take my egg and his swimmer and fertilize the egg outside of my uterus. They let it grow for 5 days and will then put two blastocytes in my uterus in hopes that at least one will stick. It’s extremely expensive and success rates are about 50% per cycle. I should find out tomorrow if I’m a candidate for IVF so stay tuned.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

The Fat Lady has officially sung

Did any of you think that you would ever know this much about another woman’s cycle!?! Haha!

I called to schedule my Day 3 baseline labs and ultrasound and that will be Friday. That’s when I realized that since it will be on a Friday instead of the weekend that I should be able to get the results by Friday afternoon. So by the end of this week we’ll know:

A. If John’s swimmers are ok or if we'll need to move to IVF
B. If I am in pre-ovarian failure or perimenopause and we will need to move to IVF.
C. If I'm even a candidate for IVF.

Wow! That is a lot of information for one week!! Of course, I will let you guys know what happens.

xxoo,
Jaime

Pity Party for 1

I always allow myself one day to be sad, depressed, hurt and frustrated every month. Then I get over it. Yesterday I actually only spent about 6 hours wallowing in my self pity so I think I’m getting better. I have to remind myself every month that I don’t get pregnant that God has a plan. In many ways my life would be different if we had gotten pregnant the first month we tried. We would not have Lexi, we would not have bought our house, and we would not have had enough money saved up for me to be able to take some time off after the baby is born. I am thankful that God waited for me to fulfill these goals before giving us our baby. Maybe there is something else I need to fulfill before I’ll get pregnant. Or, as Julie pointed out, maybe I am supposed to have twins and the only way for it to happen is through IVF. Or, maybe God is waiting for me to do IVF because I’m going to have an extreme number of eggs and I can donate some to Julie. Who knows? What I do know is that I can’t question why God won’t give me my baby. Maybe He never will. Maybe I’m destined to die during child birth and He doesn’t want that to happen. Or maybe the child we create will have a terrible, painful illness. I definitely wouldn’t want that. I pray for a healthy baby. So I will be fine if I never get the baby I desire so badly. It will be hard but at least I know I did everything possible!

Some people question infertility treatments and say that it’s not God’s will. But I feel differently. If God doesn’t want us to have a baby then we won’t. Even if we do 15 IVF’s they just won’t work if God doesn’t allow it. So I will continue doing the only thing that I know to do… put my whole heart into trying to have a baby and take every opportunity that I can. So please keep praying for John and I to have a healthy baby! Hopefully our time will come soon!

Also, Dr Honea said that even on my perfect months I only have about the same chance of getting pregnant as a normal, fertile woman. That is 25-30% any given month. So it's like rolling a 4 sided dice on my good months and trying to get a 1. Sometimes people get it on the first roll and other times it may take 3, 4 or 5 rolls. I'm working on patience!

Check back tomorrow afternoon to find out about John’s analysis. He’s so worried about it. For you fertility virgins, heat can kill or weaken the swimmers and he had played soccer in his tight shorts the day before he gave his last “sample”. And if you recall I had to drive with it between my legs on the way to the doctor’s office so maybe I killed some of them! I sabotaged them!! Oh no! I won’t tell you what he did last night but let’s just say there was a lot of airing out that area! Haha. And I’m pretty sure he took a lukewarm shower this morning. Poor fella!

Love you guys!!
Jaime

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Overall bad news…

I saw Dr. Honea today. I told her that I took a test yesterday and it was negative so she said that along with the fact that my temp dropped today is pretty convincing that this month did not work. She said she would do a blood test if I wanted but I told her no because I have to jump off this emotional rollercoaster. So if I don’t have my period by Friday then I’m instructed to take another test. But my period ALWAYS comes the day after my temp drops so I’m sure she’ll be here tomorrow sometime.
She was still concerned about my E2 being so high on Day 5 so she wants me to come back in on Day 3 of my next cycle to get a true reading, even if it’s a Saturday or Sunday. And if it’s still high then she wants to track another natural cycle without meds. Booo. Also she said that John had a problem too! I was shocked! Dr. S always said that John was PERFECT! Dr. H said that his count was good and mobility was good but that his morphology was low. Apparently Dr. S never checked for that. He has to go back Thursday morning to get another analysis, which he is none too thrilled about, but he's a great husband and will do it anyway. She said if his number is low again then that troubles her even more than my issues. So we may have to move straight to IVF and that’s even if my eggs are good enough to try. Double Booooo!

It’s not over until the fat lady sings (period arrives) so I suppose there is still a little hope. I mean only 2% of pregnancies are ectopic and I beat that statistic. Surely I have to beat a statistic that's in my favor at some point!

Love you guys and thanks for the support!
Jaime

Monday, June 1, 2009

So I tested early


Well of course I tested early!! Do you know me? I tested this morning at 12 dpo (days past ovulation) and it was negative. I used First Response and the box said that 86% of women would get a positive at this time if they were pregnant. So the odds are not in my favor for this month. There's still a little hope but it's quickly fading. I have an appt scheduled with Dr. Honea tomorrow to discuss where we go from here if I'm not pregnant. Since I'll be one day from my period I think she'll do a blood test instead of making me come back on Wednesday. I hope she does anyway. It's $3 to park every time I go there.... which is about 5-6 times a month! Whew!
I'll let you know tomorrow what she says.
I put up a picture of my little snickerdoodle. She loves to bask in the sun like her Mommy! She will be 1 year old Monday, June 8th! Isn't she too cute?

xxoo,
Jaime

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