Friday, July 31, 2009

Home Alone on a Friday Night

I can't remember the last time I was home alone on a Friday night! Maybe since high school when I would sit around waiting for a boy to call me... to be honest I was only single for about 3 months of high school but it was a LONG 3 months! :) John did not come home today. Tristan just won her game so he'll be staying another night and they have another game tomorrow morning at 9am. So I'm home alone. I'm about to take my second shot and maybe have a glass of wine (don't worry, I'll stop at one!). Lexi was so sweet this morning. I felt her crawl under the covers with me at about 5am. When I woke up later her head was on my pillow and her body was under the covers just like me. She thinks she's a person! So stinkin' cute!

One Flew Over the Henn's Nest tagged me to name my favorite childhood book. For the life of me I can't remember my parents reading me books (help me out here Mom) so I'm going to say my favorite series of books I read in 4th - 7th grade. Sweet Valley High. I L-O-V-E-D these books!!

xxoo,
Jaime

1st Shot

The first shot was not too bad. I filled the pen exactly the way that the nurse showed me and alcohol swabbed everything that was supposed to be swabbed. Then I pinched up some fat on the old belly (thank you chocolate) and prepared for the stick. I had to think about for a minute or two but I did it. And it wasn't bad! It didn't really hurt... my arm hurts WAY worse where she dug around for 10 minutes yesterday. I called John and had him on speaker phone so he could be with me for the excitement. He's so supportive and I know he was sad he wasn't there for it. But I'm a big girl and I handled my business!! Yay me!

I'm also on two Estrace (estrogen) tablets per day. I won't tell you where those have to go but they're not oral! Ewwww. It will all be worth it when I'm holding that lil munchkin in my arms!

We got some news about my job yesterday. The original plan was to have the NY office take over our funds by March 4, 2010. Now IFS, our official books and records, might take them over and do all of the accounting. If that is the case it could be as early as Sept or Oct! Good thing we didn't take a break for a few cycles because I might be out of a job soon.

Thanks for all of the positive feedback. I'll keep you posted on the progress. :)

xxoo,
Jaime

Thursday, July 30, 2009

We're really doing this!

I say "we" because I need the support of all of you! I just got the results from my bloodwork and my E2 was 60 (needed to be <75) my FSH was 9.2 (needed to be <12.5) so we can go ahead with the injectables this cycle! OMG! I'm so nervous!
John just called to say that he's staying in TN another day because they've been having rain delays with the tournament. Stupid rain! Now he won't be home until tomorrow night or maybe even Saturday!!! BOO! Who am I going to take my hormone induced mood swings out on? I think he planned to be away during the first few days of my injections! He's probably doing a rain dance. Haha. The thought of him dancing around on the field makes me laugh.

xxoo,
Jaime

Back from the Doctor

And I have conflicting news. Would you expect anything less? Good news first... they now have a package of parking passes where you can by 10 for $15. 1/2 price Wahoo! I went to the main hospital to get them and the lady was helping someone else so I patiently waited. She gave me two extra for being so nice about the wait! Yay! Nonmonetary related - I had tons of antral follicles.
That brings me to the bad news. I only had 4 antral follicles on the right side but 16 on the left! REALLY? 16! However, one of the ones on the right is much bigger and is already at 11mm (remember that 18mm is considered mature) so she thinks it's either a cyst (BOO) or a lead follicle jumping out early (YAY). She called in all of my prescriptions and I went to pick them up at the special pharmacy. The woman that helped me was wonderful and took a lot of time explaining and answering my questions.
I'm waiting to hear the results from my blood work and if they're good then I take my first injection tonight. YIKES! John isn't even here to help me! She said she wasn't concerned even if the 11mm thing is a cyst because it's really small and shouldn't cause me any problems. I'll take the shots today through Tuesday and then I'm scheduled for an ultrasound on Wed to see what's going on in there. Say a little prayer for me tonight :)
AND of course the girl couldn't get my vein so she ended up having to take it out of the top of my forearm - OUCH! I told the NP that we have to discuss the blood work situation because I can't get it taken every time that I come in! If I don't have follies mature on Wed then I have to come in every other day until some mature and I am NOT letting them take blood every other day! She said she would wait until she sees a mature follicle to take my blood again. whew!
Check back around lunch for blood work results!

xxoo,
Jaime

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Well...

Aunt Flo came to visit yesterday... how I wish it would have been Aunt Ann instead! I called and made an appt for Thursday morning at 7:45 for the baseline ultrasound and bloodwork. Looks like we'll know tomorrow if I'm doing an injectable cycle this month. As long as I'm cyst free I guess I will be.

John left for Johnson City, TN yesterday morning and won't be home until Thursday night. Lexi is keeping me company though. She woke up this morning and went to pounce on John, as she does every morning, but he wasn't there. She looked as sad as I was.

Check back tomorrow for the news!

Monday, July 27, 2009

Busy Weekend - with video


Well we had quite the weekend! We had Stacey’s rehearsal dinner Friday night at Icon restaurant in the Tutwiler Hotel. When we got there I was blindsided by the maid of honor to give a toast… excuse me but do you know about my fear of public speaking? So I had a glass of wine to calm my nerves and then another to relax me a little bit more. Those two got me so relaxed that I thought 3 more would be a good idea! I ended up having a little too much fun that night. Saturday we bummed around the house trying to recover from Friday night and then went to the wedding at 4:30. The reception was at The Birmingham Country Club and was so elegant and beautiful. Stacey looked GORGEOUS and very happy!

Sunday we went down to T-town for a boat ride with the sis. We did some tubing and knee boarding… I got up first try on the knee board so I won’t mention how many times it took John! The water was really rough so it was kind of hard to hydraslide but it did make for some great tubing! However, I think I have whiplash. I don’t know if I’ve ever been as sore as I was yesterday! If I could have found a doctor to put me to sleep for two days I would have! Every muscle in my neck and back hurt! My mind doesn’t want to believe that I’m 32 but my body reminded my head that I am too OLD for that mess.

Here are videos of John and Julie knee boarding. So funny! I also put up a picture of us at the rehearsal dinner Friday night… before the toast!


Wednesday, July 22, 2009

I got a call from the Big Dog herself

Dr. Honea called me at work a few minutes ago. She said I'm not supposed do the injectables without having an appt with her first to talk about risks. So she said she called me so I wouldn't have to come down to her office for the appt. Well that was very nice!! Saved me a $30 copay, $3 parking and a couple of hours sick time.

She said she is putting me on a low dose of the injectables since I'm so small and appear to produce several follicles on my own. She said the goal will be to get around 3 mature follicles. If I start taking the meds and end up having 10 mature follicles then we'll either have to cancel the cycle or convert to IVF. 10 mature follicles is way too much of a risk for 3, 4, or 5 babies! That's how Kate (from John and Kate plus 8) had 6 babies. She had too many follicles and against the doctor's wishes went home for some hanky panky. So I'm sure I'll convert if it does happen because I'll have done all of the drugs and it's hard to imagine not going for it. Like Kate, I would have a hard time canceling the cycle and using protection. I'm trying to get pregnant here not avoid it!!

I'll go in for baseline ultrasound and blood work on Day 3 which should be around Aug 2 - Aug 4th. They'll make sure I don't have any cysts and then give me the Rx for my meds. Yikes! We're really doing this! It's so sureal!

xxoo,
Jaime

Monday, July 20, 2009

Update on the Ear

It's official... It's infected! He gave me oral and topical antibiotics and then gave me his cell phone number in case it got worse (that's right ladies... I got the doc's digits.) I might have been flattered if I didn't have a crusty ear and golf ball sized lymph nodes. His first response when he looked at it was EWWW. You never want to hear a doctor say that! I hope this clears it up!

xxoo,
Jaime

The Beach

I had a great time at the beach this weekend! Thanks to my sis and bro-in-law for letting me stay with them. It was just I needed to relax and chill for a bit. We had two nice boat rides and some darn good food. I'm sure that I'm a good 3-4 lbs heavier than before I left.

Over the weekend my ear has progressively gotten worse and worse. It just oozes now. EWWW. So I made an appt with an ENT for 3:15 this afternoon. I'll let you know how that goes.

On the drive down to the beach I received a phone call from my doctor's office. I didn't get to it in time so they left me a message. She said since I'm taking a few months off that she wants me to do a mega dose of estrogen next month to try to build my lining for IVF. Problem is if I do that I will not ovulate. So I called and left them a message asking if I could take a low dose of estrogen next month and try a round of injectables. I haven't heard back yet but I'll let you know what they say.

xxoo,
Jaime

Friday, July 17, 2009

Mind vs. Body

Take a trip into my body and hear the inner monologue...

Warning: I'm not pregnant. I had to add this part b/c Jess read this at first and thought I was pregnant so now she says I'm mean!

Body: I'm pregnant!
Mind: No you're not. They just gave you the hcg shot so you think you are.
Body: No, for real this time! Take a test! I promise!
Mind: Seriously. I know you think you're pregnant but you're just not.
Body: I know I send you fake signals every month but I'm sure this time!

Body won. I had to take a test yesterday even though I knew it would be positive only because of the shot. But it was such a glorious sight to see those two beautiful lines... even if it was fake. It's inhumane to give a person who has been trying to get pregnant for two years a shot of hcg. Most of you know that hcg is the hormone your body produces that tells your brain you're pregnant. So I have some of the initial symptoms of pregnancy but I have to keep reminding myself that it's just the shot. What's worse is that I left the test sitting on the bathroom counter. John saw it and came running over to me freaking out. Poor fella! I had to explain that it wasn't real. I won't be doing that again!

Hope everybody has a wonderful weekend. I'm heading to the beach at lunch today to chillax with sis!

xxoo,
Jaime

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Curve ball

It always happens! Why does it still surprise me? I have been bee bopping along feeling really good about our decision to take a break for a few months and was actually quite excited about it! Then fate threw me the inevitable curveball! Why am I always blindsided? ART gave me the number of a pharmacy to call to find out how much of the injectable meds would be covered by insurance. She told me that insurance doesn't usually cover very much but she wanted me to go ahead and get an estimate so I wouldn't be surprised. So I called and gave them all of my information and was completely expecting a phone calling saying $1200 - $1500 per month. WELL - Good news is that my insurance covers ALL of the meds but the copay. So I'll only have to pay about $60/mo. The lady from the pharmacy was very shocked and said that my insurance is fantastic. Why is this a curve ball you may ask?? Many of you know that I'm getting laid off soon. They're saying it will probably be around the end of the year but it may be sooner than that. We have no guarantees. So I won't have this insurance for much longer. Now I have all new decisions to make. Should we try a round of injectables first before the IVF since they're so cheap? Yes. Should we start trying sooner than October since I don't know when I'll be losing my fantastic insurance? Probably. When? I don't know! I'm leaning toward just taking 6 weeks off and starting an injectables cycle in September. But since I'll have a natural cycle in August and won't get an HCG shot to make my folly release I potentially could have a cyst in September. We can't do injectables if I have a cyst because it will just feed it and it could grow out of control. What do you think? But I feel like I need some time off but I would also like to have a baby as soon as possible.... I don't know!! Help!!

xxoo,
Jaime

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

I'm so done!!

I’ll give you the good news first… I stood my ground and would not let them take blood until after I got an ultrasound. They tried to get me to do it before and told me I would have a long wait if they had to do it afterward but I told them I didn’t care. They were not touching me until I got an ultrasound!! I’m glad I did because the poor little folly on the right shrunk to 1.3cm. The one on the left however has grown to 1.9cm so it’s mature. POOOO~ She gave me the hcg shot to make it release so hopefully I won’t have a cyst there later but there’s nothing else they can do this month. So I did NOT need blood work today!! I told her that I’m done until IVF. We discussed all of the financial aspects and when I should come back in if I want to do IVF in October. I have to be approved first so she was getting the paperwork together for that and I should get a call in a couple of weeks but she didn’t see any reason I wouldn’t be approved. They also gave me a pharmacy to call where they get the injectable drugs to see if my insurance will cover any of it. I sure hope so because the meds are an additional $1200 every cycle on top of the IVF price. I did find out a bit of good news though. We’re going to do the 2-cycle shared risk plan. We’ll pay up front for two fresh cycles. If I don’t get pregnant with either of those cycles then they’ll give us about half of the money back. So that’s pretty good. And if I have enough excellent embryos so that they can freeze two then we’ll be able to a frozen cycle after the fresh cycles. So this will hopefully give me up to 4 cycles to get pregnant! Surely I can get pregnant with 4 cycles at a 46% success ratio! SURELY!
I’m going to keep praying that it doesn’t come to all of this though. Maybe I can get pregnant before October all on my own. The chances are low but maybe! Of the 4 months we’ve tracked with Dr. Honea I have ovulated on the left side 3 times and the right only once. So my left side is definitely dominant. Maybe one of the next two months though my right side will kick it in gear! A girl can dream! But for now I’m just going to enjoy the rest of the summer with no meds, no needles, no ultrasounds, no thermometers… no stress!

I talked with my mom this morning and she said they took my grandmama off the heart pump yesterday. She’s doing well and will hopefully come off the breathing tube today. Please keep her in your prayers.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

GGGRRRRRR!

GGGRRRRRRR! That's my angriest growl I can give! I went to the doctor this morning and it was terrible! First, my appointment was at 8:15. They tried to take my blood and I said that they could take it AFTER the ultrasound if the ultrasound was inconclusive. At 8:55 they called me back and said that I was 5th in line from getting my ultrasound and the lab closes at 9am. So she told me I had to get my blood drawn now. I asked her if I could please come back and do it tomorrow if the ultrasound was bad. She said NO. So the weekend nurse took a look at my arm and immediately called for the male nurse to take a gander. He was very apologetic and said that he was going to have a hard time. I told him that I'm used to it!! He couldn't get my good vein because it's still bruised from Friday morning. After digging in my forearm for a while he went to ask the NP if it was absolutely necessary for me to get my blood drawn. She again said yes. So he finally had to get it out of my hand which is terrible! He said he could see my heart beat because my blood was dropping with every pulse. That is how slow the blood flows from the hand! Anyway - at about 10 am they finally called me back for the ultrasound. On Friday I had a 1.2cm folly on the left and a 1.5 folly on the right so we thought I might ovulate on the right side this month. A folly needs to reach 1.8cm to be mature. The right was only at 1.6cm today so it only grew 1mm. The one on the left however is at 1.5 now so it has grown 3mm. So I may be ovulating on the left side after all. Boooo! So today was a complete waste. I have to go back on Tuesday to see if I am closer to ovulating and if so on which side. My lining has thickened a little to 6.5mm so maybe it will be above 7 by Tuesday. I'm just so stinking angry with my body and with the doctor's office for not listening to me! The nurse said she would put in my chart not to take blood on Tuesday until after my ultrasound. But that doesn't help my poor forearm and hand right now! I am definitely DONE after this month if it doesn't work. We'll be moving on to IVF in the fall. I can't take this C-R-A-P anymore! grrrrrr!

On a brighter note - Rhonda tagged me with her blog to post the 10th picture from the oldest folder on my computer and tell the story behind it. Since I lost most of my pictures when I changed jobs, the oldest folder I have is from our wedding. This is a picture of us hanging at the beach in Destin. We were at the beach until about 2 on our wedding day. It was so relaxing and stress free... I highly recommend eloping!


Happy Anniversary to Josh and Jessica!

Friday, July 10, 2009

Good News and Bad News

I have some good news and some bad news. I’ll start with the good news. I had my ultrasound this morning and I had two small follicles on the left side but one big, fat, juicy follicle on the right side! Wahoo! It’s a 1.5cm right now and it needs to get to 1.8cm to be considered “mature”. I have another ultrasound scheduled for Sunday morning… yes, my doctor’s office is open 7 days/week. They’ll check to see if it’s mature and if so they’ll give me the hcg shot to make it release. Then John and I will decide if we want to try one more IUI. It will also depend on my lining. Today it was only 6mm but they want it to be 8mm or more. So I have two days to grow. If I’m 7mm or higher AND the right side looks good and mature, we’ll probably go ahead and try one more. I also had to have my blood drawn today. Dun, dun, dun, dun. I had no idea that I had to have my blood drawn because they told me I just needed an ultrasound when I made the appt. So I argued with the little girl for a bit and started panicking. I sat down and she got it first try! Maybe all of my anxiety prior to my appts is causing my veins to shrivel up! Who knows! I do think she busted the vein though because it bled through the cotton ball and it’s swollen now but at least she didn’t have to dig!

Now for the bad news. I called my mom at my Aunt Ann’s this morning (they’re visiting my Aunt Ann in NC) to tell her about my lovely folley on the right side. My Aunt Ann told me they just left to come home and that Grandmama is recovering from surgery and doing well. Hold up… Rewind… Start over! What surgery? She said that Grandmama had triple bypass surgery last night for a massive heart attack. She ended the statement with, “your mom didn’t tell you?” Ummmm no! No one tells me anything!! She continued by telling me that she is doing ok and just in some pain which is to be expected after a triple bypass. She’s tough and I’m praying that she makes it through this without any complications. Please God watch over my Grandmama! I just told John last night that the women in my family live forever and since I want to go before he does that he’ll have to live forever and a day! She’s 82 and the doctors are keeping a close eye on her due to her age. In other grandparent news…today is my Nana’s 84th birthday so I’m headed to T-town tonight to have dinner with her and 21 other relatives.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Mad Dash

John goes home every day at lunch to let my sweet baby out of her cage for a little bit. I know that she is old enough to stay in her “den” all day long but I just get so sad thinking about her laying there ALL DAY! Our neighbor has graciously offered to take Lexi out at lunch sometimes if John can’t get home because she doesn’t work in the summer… must be nice. Well today he has a dentist appointment so he can’t go home. As I was taking her for her walk before I left for work this morning I saw the neighbor and asked her. I went inside feeling better about my baby’s day until I opened my eyes and looked around! It is a complete disaster area! Pots and pans everywhere; dishes galore in the sink; stacks and stacks of mail and papers. WOW! I was already running late so I made a mad dash to clean up the house. I was running upstairs to throw some stuff in a closet (Monica Gellar style) when I realized all 3 of our beds are unmade! There are only 2 of us! How is it that all 3 beds are unmade?!? So I’m just hoping the neighbor doesn’t get nosy and take a gander upstairs. Also, Lexi got one of my bras and chewed it up so I just let her have that one as a toy. I hope she doesn’t run upstairs to get it! Can’t you just imagine her prancing down the stairs with my bra in her mouth? What would my poor neighbor think?

My doctor's appt is at 7:30 tomorrow morning so I’ll fill you in on the latest and greatest when I get to work.

xxoo,
Jaime

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Dirty Dozen

With Rachel’s suggestion of calcium I am now up to 12 pills per day! Thanks Rach! I take it occasionally already (ummmm sorry mom) so now my mom will be happy that I’ll take it everyday due to my even number obsession.

Sunday after we got back from the pool and all day yesterday I noticed that no body was speaking clearly. I couldn't figure out what was going on in the world that no one could speak English... or so I thought that it was everybody else. When I got out of the shower this morning I Q-tipped my ears and the right one had dried blood in it! Yikes! Then I remembered that Tristan, John and I were doing cannonballs in the pool Sunday. I usually don’t hold my nose but I had already done one cannonball and half the pool went up my snout so I decided to do another one holding my nose this time. I remembered how badly my ear hurt afterward and I just thought I had water in it. Well now I think I may have ruptured my ear drum! Only me… I know! Attached is a video of said cannonball. Please avert your eyes from the jiggly thighs; you're supposed to be watching my perfect cannonball form. And remember - the camera adds 10 lbs! :) I also attached one of John so you can see that my form is way better than his!


Sunday, July 5, 2009

Handful of Pills

We had a great 4th of July weekend! Friday night we took Tristan to see Ice Age 3 and it was really good. I was pleasantly surprised. Yesterday we made a flag cake, played outside with Lexi, grilled out (fillet mignon, zucchini, squash and corn on the cob - courtesy of my wonderful grill expert) and then went to Tristan's friend's house for fireworks at night. Today we just went to the pool and watched some movies.

A little while ago I went through my pharmacy shelf and separated all of my pills for the week. Tristan walked in as I was doing this and started freaking out about all of the pills I have to take. She asked me about each one and what it does and if a doctor told me to take it... she's worried about her dear old step mom! Here is a laundry list of my daily pills. Don't you wish you were me?

- prenatal vitamin, aciphex, baby aspirin, wheat grass(2), vitex(2), DHEA(2), vitamin D, and total thyroid
The only pill that I take that is not fertility related is the aciphex which is for heartburn.

The Grand Total? It's 11! 11 pills every day! AND - now that I've counted them I'm obsessing about the fact that it's an odd number and as many of you know I like things in even numbers. So I guess I'm going to have to add one or take one away. hmmmm. What a dilemma. But don't worry too much... I only take all of those the first 15 days of my cycle and the next half of the cycle I only take 4.

My next appointment is Friday where they will do an ultrasound to find out from which side I'm ovulating. Fingers crossed and praying!

xxoo,
Jaime

Thursday, July 2, 2009

It’s like your boyfriend dumping you when you’re on your way to dump him!

I was driving to the doctor’s office feeling quite proud of myself for deciding to take a break and do a natural cycle this month. John was following me because this was the “big” talk with the doctor day. We discussed our options and she said I should be a good candidate for IVF. They won’t know for sure until they medicate me and see how many eggs they can get and what quality they are. She also mentioned my cyst problem… Excuse me? What’s this about a cyst problem? She said she already had it in my chart that I was cyst girl before I even called complaining about all of my problems last month. News to me! She said she wants to get an ultrasound to see if she’s correct. Then she said, “And if there is a cyst then you can’t do medication and you’ll have to do a natural cycle.” She dumped me before I could dump her. I told her I already planned to do a natural cycle anyway but I’m sure it came off as a defensive statement. Booo! So they led me into the ultrasound room and I prepared myself. These things are way better than getting my blood taken so I’m not complaining! The lady starts looking around and then says she’s going to call another nurse in to look at something. Well that’s never good news. The other nurse came in and said that I indeed do have a 2.4 cm cyst on my left ovary so I would HAVE to do a natural cycle. Now I’m just mad that everybody keeps stealing my thunder on the natural cycle route this month. The bit of good news is that I had 16 antral follicles. The Dr. said that since I’m a cyster (haha, get it? like sister!) that I would have to produce more follicles than the average woman. She said that cysters produce more empty follicles so even if I have 3 mature follicles I may only have 1 egg. BOOO! She said she would like to see a minimum of 15 follicles for my IVF cycle and I had 16 this month. Last month I only had 13 so I guess I wouldn’t have been able to try IVF last month even if I wanted. Hopefully the month that we do decide to do IVF I’ll have enough! I had 9 on the left side this month and 7 on the right side so I sure hope that doesn’t indicate that I’m going to ovulate on the left side again!

Oh – And I told Dr. Honea that I called in the Monday after her office thought I ovulated asking for them to give me the hcg shot because I was hurting so badly and didn’t think I had ovulated yet. She said that probably would have worked and I probably wouldn’t have a cyst now. So she put it in my chart that I need an hcg shot every month to make sure that all of the eggs release and don’t hang out to turn into cysts. What drama!

Now we’re just looking forward to having a relaxing 4th of July weekend. Hope you have a wonderful 4th too!

xxoo,
Jaime

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Mother Nature

Mother Nature brought me my present today. Oh thank you so much madam!!
I called ART to see if I need to come in on Day 3 for a base line ultrasound. The nurse said that I should just come on Day 10 and see how and more importantly where my follies are.... I'm hoping plural and on the right side! Then ART called back a few minutes later to say that Dr. H had a cancellation for tomorrow. John and I are supposed to go see her July 13th to discuss IVF so I guess we'll find out a little sooner if I'm a candidate. We see her tomorrow at 8 a.m. Wish us luck and of course I'll keep you posted.

xxoo,
Jaime

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