Thursday, October 8, 2009

I'm Not the Only One

It is so comforting to see stories that make your craziness seem a little less crazy! It just so happens that one of the girls on soulcysters tested early yesterday and was beating herself up about it. One of the other girls replied to her with the below:

Just try to think about all of us out there doing the same thing as you in the morning: trying to hold our negative tests up to all kinds of light sources for 30 minutes, putting them down by the sink, walking out of the room, running back in with our glasses on this time and picking it up again to hold it by the window for natural light. then standing there contemplating tearing the test apart to see what's inside and eyeing the trash can to dig out yesterday's test for comparison. OMG - What is wrong with me?

Did she read my blog? It's like she has a video camera in my bathroom! It's nice to know I'm not the only crazy person out there. I do have a little more justification for testing early than most people though. I am supposed to start Lovenox injections as soon as I get a positive test. The sooner the better to prevent another miscarriage. So now I'm sitting here freaking myself out because what if I wait until the day of my blood test and it is positive? Then what if I miscarry? I know I'll blame myself for not testing early so I could start the injections as soon as possible! SEE - I told you I would start rationalizing some reason why I have to test early! What to do.... What to do! We'll see if John stays strong and if he does if I can keep from sneaking to the store to buy a test!

Here's a pic of Tristan with her new 12U Vipers Softball time. She has played with several of these girls for three or four years but a couple of them are new. They have not been able to play much ball this fall due to the endless raining and illnesses. I think their tournament this weekend may be rained out too. This picture is of their only real tournament where they came in 2nd place! Of course it happened while we were in Cancun...


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