Thursday, March 25, 2010

IVF #2

I haven't been emotionally invested in this cycle. I've tried to stay positive but deep down I knew it wouldn't work. I was going through the motions of the cycle but I didn't really believe in it. So when I went to the doctor this morning I fully expected to see a huge follicle and for my cycle to be cancelled. I was not prepared for her to find 4 follicles (all around 10-12mm) on the right and 6 follicles (biggest at 13mm) on the left! I was down right shocked even! I looked at the nurse and said, "They're all about the same size and there's 10 of them? Are you freaking serious?" She looked pretty confused. I mean that's what is supposed to happen. It's just that things that are supposed to happen don't usually happen for me. As soon as she left the room I burst into tears. It's very hard to let in the hope. I have been on this roller coaster so long. Hope followed by disappointment. It's the story of my infertility journey. I am still very cautious. Immediately I started rationalizing that this was just one hurdle. I still have to make it to retrieval, eggs have to be good, they have to be fertilized and then transferred back into me. That's a lot of steps. But the first obstacle has been passed. I now have to put one foot in front of the other until all of these steps are accomplished.

I don't have the bloodwork results yet but she said they should be fine based on the u/s. If they are then I go back for another u/s and bloodwork on Sunday. If the follicles are at the retrieval stage (most of them around 17-18mm) then I will get an hcg trigger shot Sunday night and 36 hours later will be retrieval. For that they'll put me in twilight and then insert a long needle that will pop the follicles and suck out the eggs. Sounds fun right? YIKES!

Stats: E2 = 386 & P4 = .6

Thanks so much for all of the positive thoughts and prayers! I love you guys!!

6 comments:

  1. As crazy as it sounds, I have been operating under what I call "The power of negative thinking." If I automatically assume something horrible is going to happen, or I'm going to get bad news, then when something horrible actually happens, or I get that horrible news, it's not as devastating. However, if something good happens then I'm all the more excited! There is a small problem with this way of thinking, I've found that when something good happens, I tend to not believe it, and it's also kind of depressing to be around me...lol.

    Good luck with everything, I'm praying for those follies to grow! Keep us updated!

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  2. I am SO excited for you & John! I am truly praying for y'all and I can't wait for all the steps to be completed.

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  3. JZs: (yes both of you) I'm so excited! Sending praises to GOD and many more prayers up for you! Love you!!

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  4. YAYYYYYY for good news. Sitting here with tears in my eyes thinking about Baby Z. You just leave all the positive thinking up to us if you need to! So happy that God has answered our prayers for step #1...more prayers for the steps to come!! Love you!

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  5. I'm so excited for you. I fully except the worst at all times when it comes to things in my life. You friends are praying and faithful enough for you.

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  6. Alissa's comment made me cry again. I love it...Your friends are praying and faithful enough for you.
    I am lucky to have found all of you ladies!!

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