Saturday, May 15, 2010

Why Do I Have To Be So Sensitive

I am so terribly soft hearted and sensitive. Sometimes it's a curse! I can't kill anything... not even a bug. If there is a fly in the house I try to direct it with a broom to the open door (usually letting in several more flies.) When I vacuum the cobwebs it makes me sad that I ruined the spiders hard work. I actually almost cried when I saw a dead ladybug in the bathroom. I thought about his life and how he didn't know he was crawling to his death by entering my home. What is wrong with me??? John was not very happy with me the other day because I'm apparently rubbing off on him. He was watching a video of his boss catching a shark and all he could think about was the poor shark.

All of that was to say that I feel terrible for turning down the other job. I made the recruiter do it because I thought I would cry. Then the recruiter called back to say they want to match the other offer because they REALLY want me. I FEEL TERRIBLE! I know it's a business decision and that I have to do what is best for my career and blah, blah, blah... but I still feel so guilty. I also feel like a coward for not calling to tell them myself. So I'm having a terribly hard time celebrating my new job due to all of this guilt. I know that they'll find someone else; I'm not the only person who could do this job. I just feel bad for wasting their time with 4 interviews and leading them to believe I would accept a position.

Fertility News: I have my saline u/s with Dr. H Wed at 9:30. She should be able to tell me which course of action will work the best based on the results. Luckily I don't start my new job until the 24th. I didn't warn them about my never ending doctor's appointments!


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