Let’s talk babies... Please! I was going to make this my third installment of “What to say to an infertile” but this can be a touchy subject. I think I should just speak for myself on this issue.
I don’t want any of my friends or relatives to feel awkward about telling me their wonderful news. I know that most of you are normal and when you decide to start a family, it happens. It doesn’t upset me or make me sad... it actually makes me happy! Yes it does cause that little green monster (jealousy) to creep out but I keep him in check. The most important part is that I wouldn’t wish infertility on anybody so it’s a blessing to hear pregnancy news.
The only time it hurts is if you’re upset about being pregnant. DO NOT call to tell me how you can’t afford, can’t handle, or don’t have time for a child. These are not appropriate comments to make to any infertile (I will speak for us all here). Imagine the one thing you want most in the world... you would drop to your knees in tears of joy if you got this one thing. You would give up everything you own for this one thing... Maybe it’s to find the love of your life, win the lottery, or have one more day with a lost loved one. Do you have your most desired object/feeling/gift in mind?? Now imagine that I call to tell you that I have this object/feeling/gift and I don’t want it. I wish I could give it to you but it’s non-transferrable. Darn the luck.
Oddly, I have had several people say these things to me. (If you’re one of them don’t worry... I forgave you long ago.) Maybe it’s because I am so open about babies that I pop into their heads. I don’t know. Just try not to call me if you’re upset... anybody else but me. Call me when you’re ready to burst with joy!
To sum it up: As more and more of my friends settle down and start planning families, I expect many opportunities to perfect my “you’re pregnant” squeal! Just don’t call me until you’re ready to be happy about it!