Friday, April 29, 2011


I just realized that I haven't posted about the IUI. It went really well. I was instructed to be there an hour and a half after John left his "specimen". When I got there the nurse said something about John and how he was nervous. He's such a good husband. I know it's less than desirable to go perform at a doctor's office. Talk about pressure! But he did great and his boys got rave reviews from the doctor. After the procedure I asked the NP if there is anything I can do to aid in fertilization and implantation. She said "Pray." The only thing I can do is pray. Check. Got that one down. She then gave me the super sad, pity eyes and I lost it. I started crying right there on the table unable to move. She got me a tissue and consoled me for a bit to which I replied, "I'm sorry. It's just been a long four years." And it has! Sometimes the emotions sneak up on me. I feel like I a do a pretty good job of staying strong and keeping a positive attitude. But there are times I am overwhelmed with grief, sadness, anger and frustration. She said I'm doing everything I can do and that she is so proud of me for being such a trooper. What choice do I have? I guess I could give up but I'm not quite ready for that yet. I don't have much fight left in me but I do have a little longer.

We don't have much going on this weekend... I'm trying to relax, de-stress and stay positive. I thought about driving down to Tuscaloosa with a carload of water and non-perishable food items but my mom said I shouldn't. She said it would just upset me. There are lots of places around here accepting donations so I'll probably do that instead.

Please continue to pray for the many cities in Alabama that were demolished by the terrible storms.


1 comment:

  1. You have company in your prayers for a baby. I'm praying for you too. You are strong and brave, and your sweet baby is going to have a great example of a true lady and a true fighter to look up to one day. What amazing examples of love, perseverance, determination, and courage you have shown these past 4 years! No one will ever know your heart better than that little one, and I have no doubt he/she will be so proud of you too for fighting so long and so hard.


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