This morning's service, led by Mari Beth, moved me so much that I must blog about it. The sermon was tackling the question, What Happens After Death. Toward the end she announced that she suffered a miscarriage earlier this week. Of course I immediately started crying after being blindsided with this news. She is so brave to get up and speak about this in front of a thousand people. It's one thing to write about it but it's entirely different to stand up and speak. Then she said the MOST comforting words I have ever received. She said that we would see our babies again in Heaven and have a perfect relationship with them. Wow! What faith and comfort! I had not thought of it that way before. I know that my 3 babies are in heaven but I thought since I never met them that I wouldn't know them in Heaven. I just never really thought about the fact that I would see them again. I just took comfort in the fact that they are with God now and never had to feel hurt, pain, sorrow or sin. But to think that I will actually get to meet them in Heaven and they will know me and I will know them fills my heart with joy. Actually, right before she made her announcement, she was describing Heaven. I was thinking that I wouldn't feel complete because I wouldn't have children to spend the rest of eternity with. It's like she heard my thoughts and answered me.
Now I have another dilemma. I'm praying... and praying... and praying... tears running down my face praying... actually more like pleading... for God to finally let me give birth to a healthy child. But I feel so guilty. With all of the tragedy and devastation across the south I feel so guilty for praying for myself. I do pray for all of the people who were affected by these storms but my Strong prayers are for a baby. So I'm trying to put my own wants aside and think of the victims... the people who lost everything... the people who lost loved ones... maybe their children. I'm going to give them my Strong prayers.