Friday, January 25, 2013

Once an infertile...

Always an infertile.

To all of my fellow infertiles out there, I have not forgotten you.  Even though I have a wonderful son who I wouldn't trade for the world; I still have a slight ache.  An ache that I don't think will ever fully go away.  I have longed to carry a child for as long as I can remember.  But if I could do it all over again I wouldn't change a thing.  If all of the events of my life hadn't fallen into the exact, perfect order I wouldn't have Christian.  And if there is one thing I know, it is that Christian was meant to be my son. 

The ache was triggered today when a co-worker started talking about one of his family members.  His words stung, "I wish she would just hurry up and get pregnant already!  I'm tired of hearing about it."  I just stood there for a few seconds staring at him. I know the girl he was referring to and they have been trying for over 2 years. He finally realized what he said and immediately apologized.  I told him that as tired as he is of hearing about it that I'm sure she's a million times more tired of thinking, talking, praying and hoping about it!  That she wishes she could "get pregnant already!" I think he forgot that I am an infertile.  He knows my story but because I am now a mother he assumed that all of my sadness had dissappeared.  While it has dulled, it will never be fully gone.  I will always be an infertile.  I am ok with that.  I don't cry myself to sleep at night.  I have a full life and almost everything I have ever wanted.  I am blessed beyond belief and thank God every day!

Here are some pictures of my sweet man:

After bath

Brushing his teeth

Trying to ride his doggie

Saturday, January 19, 2013


It snowed on Thursday!  Christian's first snow!!  BUT - It almost all melted by the time I could get home.  This is the difference that a day can make in Alabama.
U of A
Crazy huh?  It started snowing at around lunch and was all melted by 4 pm.  This is a picture of him looking out the window.
Since he has a cold he couldn't really get out in the snow.
My Aunt Debbie let us borrow this push car.  The day after it snowed it was sunny and in the 50's so we got to get out in the pretty weather.

He has regressed on his eating.  For a while he wouldn't let us spoon feed him.  He only wanted to feed himself.  And he would eat anything!  Any vegetable or bland piece of wheat toast... he gobbled it down.  Now he throws most of the veggies off of his high chair but he'll eat a whole container of baby food no problem.  I'm fine with whatever he wants as long as he is getting adequate nutrition.  I just don't know what's going on with him.

We have started giving him one sippy cup of milk every day.  He really likes it.  I don't think we'll have an issue transitioning him to milk or the sippy cup...except for his bedtime bottle.  He still falls asleep on the bottle.  I know!  I know!  It's a terrible habit. We'll be getting over it soon.  We also have another issue that he still has to have a night bottle.  He goes to bed at around 7 - 7:30 every night but he wakes up at around 10pm for another bottle.  We have been weaning him off of this one.  He now only gets about 3 ounces.  It makes me so sad though b/c you can hear is tummy growling.  I can't go from 7pm - 7am without eating... why should I make him?

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Sweet Boy

Christian is protesting the second nap.  Therefore, he is exhausted by dinner.  I have been putting him to bed earlier and earlier.  Tonight he got his bottle at 6:50!  Poor Bud.  Hopefully he'll take a longer morning nap and take it a little later.  He's taking it at 10 now and will sleep for about an hour and a half.  That means he's up from 11:30ish until bedtime!  That's too long for this little monkey!
So tired... but still shoveling in cheerios.

I might just rest my head for a second...

 My parents got him this doggie for Christmas.  He loves it!  He especially loves for us to push him on it.  He hasn't quite gotten how to push himself yet.  I really don't see how anyone with a toddler could gain weight!  They are exhausting!  Wonderful... but exhausting!
Push me!!
 We borrowed this wagon from our neighbor.  He loves it even on a dreary day.  Too bad it's getting cold again tomorrow so no more wagon rides for a while!
Wagon ride
Christian is one brave little boy.  He laughs in the face of danger... however, we found his kryptonite.  It's a Christmas oven mitt.  Who knows why!!!  Every time we pull it out of the drawer he flinches and screams!  A scared scream.  It's really, really weird.  The oven mitt has seen its better days so it can definitely be thrown out; I just wonder what causes this reaction from him.
The evil oven mitt

Wednesday, January 9, 2013


Christian did well getting his tubes!  The hardest part was not being able to give him anything to eat or drink.  We had to wake him up at 5:45am and his surgery wasn't until 7:45am.  That gave him 2 long hours of no bottle!  Luckily they had this wonderful push car there to keep him occupied.  He loved cruising the halls, flirting with all of the pretty nurses.

This gave us a great idea for his birthday present!  We're going to get him a wagon!  He'll love it!
His stats were:
25 1/2 pounds
31 inches
He has definitely plateaued since his 9 month appointment.  He was 24 lbs and 30.5 inches at that appt.
My dad had his 7th chemo treatment today.  He still hadn't fully recovered from the 6th treatment so he was not looking forward to the visit.  Thankfully, the doctor decided to hold off on two of the medications that make him so sick.  Hopefully this treatment will be much easier on his body.

Monday, January 7, 2013

Name Day

Happy Name Day to both of my boys!  I love you more than you'll ever know!  Say a little prayer for us tomorrow morning that Christian's surgery goes well and he does fine with the anesthesia.


ROLL TIDE!!!  National Champions... again!


Sunday, January 6, 2013

11 Months

Oh my!  I just can't believe our little man is 11 months old! Not only that but he looks like he's about 18 months.  It makes me so sad that he doesn't look like a baby anymore.  He is a full fledged toddler.  Walking/Running everywhere, into anything and EVERYTHING!  But this is my favorite time with him so far.  He is so sweet and shares his toys with us.  When I get down on my knees and hold out my arms, a HUGE grin comes across his face and he runs to me.  He usually stops right before he gets to me and shyly looks down.  I grab and hug him and kiss him all over.  He laughs and we start over again.

He gets his tubes on Tuesday.  We're pretty excited/nervous about it.  I'm glad that he's going to feel better but I'm nervous about him going under.  They asked if he had a family history of problems during anesthesia. We don't know.  We just have to hope and pray for the best.

We had a pretty tough weekend... or I guess I should say that I had a tough weekend.  I got the stomach bug Friday morning. It was terrible!  Thankfully lil man and John didn't get it. However, I did tell my darling husband that it's his turn next time.  I've had it three times in a row to his ZERO times.

Here are some pictures of my very toddler looking (and acting) baby.

Seriously.... not looking like a baby.
Big boy with his monkey back pack.

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