Tuesday, December 29, 2015

The Good Stuff

The past 10 months had some bumps in the road BUT there were a LOT of good times! We spent a wonderful summer together as a family.  We took trips to the beach, pretty much lived at the pool and spent lots of quality time with friends and family.

Christian has grown before our eyes from a toddler to a strong boy.  He is seriously the sweetest and most caring child.  He likes to wrestle, work out and play with dad. He has realized that Dad is pretty cool. He says he wants to help people when he grows up.  I asked if he wants to be a policeman so he can fight the bad guys and he said, "No. I want to be just like my dad. What does he do again?"  I could just eat him up. He is still a Mama's boy too though.  While I have been healing from surgery he has doted and loved on me.  I'm not saying there aren't normal three year old hard times but they are pretty rare.

Perfectly shows his personality. He walked down Christmas morning and pointed at his Santa presents saying, "for me?"
He got drums from Granna & Pop
On Christmas Day he made three wishes into a fountain:
1. For a baby brother
2. For Dad to get a real dagger
3. For Mommy to feel all better

Which leads me to our next adventure... John and I have decided to adopt another baby!  I always knew I wanted another child but I thought we would adopt an older child. When I get pregnant this summer and then lost the baby it made me realize I want another baby.  And Christian has been talking about a baby brother for years.  Hopefully he'll be ok if it turns out to be a baby sister. 
We started the homestudy process in October and should be done by the end of February.  After that we'll just wait for a lovely lady to pick us to raise her child. The agency says it could be anywhere from 6 months to four years.

I also got some great news just today.  My lab results came back for the irregular cells in my bladder. No cancer! Yay!  He said they're due to inflammation.  I have decided to try to follow an anti-inflammatory diet. A lot of my issues seem to point back to inflammation so it can't hurt to try it out. I am very fortunate that I can eat pretty much whatever I want without gaining much weight; however, that doesn't mean I'm healthy.  I LOVE sweets which are the #1 no-no food for inflammation.  This is going to be tough but I need to try to do better so I'm healthy for my boys.

Here's hoping that 2016 will bring us all love and blessings!


Friday, December 11, 2015

So... It's Been A While

I know... I know... I stopped writing.  I'll blame it on a busy life with a 3 year old.  Or I could say that there hasn't been that much going... but that wouldn't be true.  A lot has happened over the past 10 months.  There were some sad, stressful, hard times but many, many more happy times.

Let me start with the most recent.  I had a hysterectomy last Thursday.  I have had a lot of issues throughout my life so my doctor has been trying to get me to do it for years.  I had a hard time with it though.  It was so final.  There was only a 1% chance that I would ever be able to have a baby but at least there was a chance.  Now there is no chance. NONE.

What finally made my decision was, ironically, getting pregnant.  I spontaneously achieved a pregnancy this summer.  John and I were so excited but (of course) scared.  All of my appointments went well at the beginning and everything seemed to be like a text book pregnancy.  It was at around 6 weeks that I went in for an ultrasound.  They were hoping to see a heartbeat but there wasn't one.  And the baby was measuring very small.  They told me not to worry; that the timing could have been off.  But I was sure of my dates.  I went back a week later and there still wasn't a heartbeat.  However, the baby was still growing.  I had to wait another week and then another.  By nine weeks pregnant there was no hope without a heartbeat.  I tried to wait a little longer but my body wouldn't miscarry naturally.  It was hanging on... but there's a risk of leaving dead cells in the uterus. We scheduled a DNC and did genetic testing.  It was a girl with a chromosome abnormality.  She had the same abnormality that our other girl baby had from seven years ago.  The decision was made shortly after that.  I had been terribly sick for weeks and lost half of my summer.  I decided I was done.  Obviously John and I aren't supposed to have children this way and that's ok.  We have a loving, handsome, kind, funny, thoughtful, as close to perfect as you can get little boy.

We grieved our daughter and then made the decision.  Which brings us back to my hysterectomy last Thursday.  It wasn't terrible.  It was a single-site robotic procedure.  They only had to cut my belly button. Amazing! They removed my left ovary, right tube, uterus and cervix. They only left the right ovary so I wouldn't go into immediate menopause.  I also had some endometriosis on my bladder and kidneys.  She cleaned it up and noticed some abnormal cells on my bladder.  I have an appointment later this month with a urologist to see if I need further testing.  She was pretty sure it wasn't cancerous but if left untreated it could possibly turn to cancer.  There was (and still is) some pain but not as bad as I thought it would be.  I was up a little too much yesterday so I was in some pain last night.  John and I went to Christian's school concert today so I was hurting a good bit during/after that too.  As long as I take it easy it's not too bad.

I started with most of the sad stuff that has happened over the past ten months.  My next post will be about the happiness.

Sweet boy is front row center


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